Spoiled Holiday Mannequin
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Gross Custy Encounter AT Hellmart

Cowcusty3 Hey there RHU readers. First time submission here guess I'll just go by Jaxom on here, pretty much my online persona.

Anyway, I just thought I'd share the story of Vag Stank lady.

I am currently a slave of Hell-Mart and have been for about 3 months, and just last week, I saw something that literally made me ROFL for at least 2 mins.

Anyway I was working a cart of Health and Beauty aides when I smelt something horrible!

It smelt like baby poop mixed with old people smell and a heaping amount of body odor.

I hear a lady say, "Excuse me, where is your deodorant?"

I turn around and immediatly know that this woman is the source of the stank.

I tell her, "Next aisle over on the right."

All is well I think, just as long as she leaves my immediate area. So I go walk back to my cart to grab another box, which is at the end and between the two aisles.

I heard a strange pssst noise. I look down the other aisle and there is the old lady standing there, spread legged and emptying an entire can of Axe onto her crotch.

I mean an entire freakin can! Her pants looked soaked with axe.

She didn't notice me so I just left the area immediatly practically ran to the back room and just fell to the floor laughing.

All I could think about was, why did I not have a camera to submit to the website "the people of ******* .com"

But yeah just a funny story I thought I would share.

I ask RHU, what's the grossest thing you've witnessed a customer doing?




Chatty Cathy

Thats... really really nasty.
I can't even imagine how bad that would burn or how bad it would.. eugh.. smell.

The grossest thing I've ever seen someone do in a store? eh I haven't seen gross activities, but I've seen gross people.

Dear individuals vying for the "longest fingernails in the world" title,
Stop shopping in public. Just buy online. Nobody but you thinks that shit is cool when your nails are a foot long and have a bunch of curls in them and they smell like you just used them to scrape the crud out of your orifices.

Michael Chandra

Only a custy here so I never saw that much. Fortunately I was capable of looking the other way when yesterday a guy at the bar had his pants hanging low at the back so that his entire ass was out in the cold air.

Kunoichi Cook

Haha...I just like the picture that goes with this submission...xD


Ok that is pretty disgusting. While stocking shelves in h&b I saw an older woman shit herself and leave a trail of it on the floor all the way to the bathroom. It was quite gross. Fortunately for me, I didn't have to clean it, the janitor was in that day lol.


My roommate worked at WalFart and turned down an isle to see a crusty squirting dish soap all over the ground >.< The plan was to "slip and fall" and sue the ever loving crap out of the big Wallie.

Do people not realize there are cameras?


Just the smell of Axe is enough to make me gag.

Axe = fragrance
Axe =/= cloud formation

If I can smell you from 20' away you used WAY too much!

And yes, that was my FB status just the other day. I was walking behind a couple teen boys at the apartment complex. Even my dog sneezed.


@Humor Me - I'm the same way! I don't mind fragrance in moderation, but these days people just wear way too much! I'm rather sensitive to perfume/cologne too, which makes working retail -really- suck when every other customer is bathed in one or the other. About the only thing I can tolerate to wear myself are the body sprays from bath and body works, for some reason those don't bother me.

Porn clerk

Hmmmm, the grossest thing I've ever seen at my store would either be the guy who whipped out a picture of his dick to ask if it matched one of the dildos, or the drunk bitch who puked all over our stuff in the middle of the afternoon, she literally turned toward the merchandise and puked on it.

NC Tony

@ Humor Me: I wondered why that was your FB status the other day! I can't stand people who smell like they bathe in perfume/cologne either. There was this guy who used to live downstairs from us, and I always knew when he had recently been out of his apartment because of the lingering stench of his cologne. It was horrible.

I have never seen anything truly disgusting, and I hope I never do.


I hope you charged her for the "use" of your product.

btw, eeeeeeuuuuuwwwwwwww!


OMG thats so fucking funny! And LOL @Humor Me also! Im picturing your dog sneezing from the stink. My stepson is like that, he will coat his entire body with Axe. I mean, he sprays the shit for, like, 10 seconds, which is is 8 seconds too long!


That's only going to mask her stench for so long though :/
Grossest thing I've seen a customer do... There was the CCTV footage of the woman who decided to take a dump in our lift lobby (no one actually saw her, although several staff members walked past - she was well hidden).
Or there was also the woman who squatted in to middle of lingerie to take a piss. Honestly, she dropped trou, squatted and started to piss in the middle of the knicker tables, which are laid out on a grid pattern and offer no cover whatsoever.
What is wrong with people!?

As for too much spray - 2 squirts of perfume (one on neck, one on one wrist, and pressed to the other), or less than 5 seconds of spray, depending on fragrance intensity. More makes people gag.


A lady pucked like three or four times down one of our aisles and continued shopping over the next hour while our small staff gagged while we tried to clean it up. Our store is small and the smell lingered for hours. I made sure to use a room spray to clear the air right in front of the lady who acted like nothing was amiss

Fender the Toy Store Bitch

A guy walked into the toy store one day, walked up to a display of expensive teddy bears, whipped out his penis, and then began to rub his junk all over the poor toys. And he did so in front of at least ten children and five adults. Two other employees had to don several pairs of thick rubber gloves to throw away about $500 worth of stuffed animals and the display rack (it, like the bears, were covered in splooge). O_o;;;

Second story: we have a lot of teenagers who come in our store after school. One day, a group of them stagger in, obliviously blitzed on something, and they wander about the aisles aimlessly, but they were quiet... too quiet. A few minutes later, I hear the horrible sounds of obnoxious drunk teenager laughter. One of the girls had crammed herself into a metal peddle car (for three to six year olds, max.) and had peed all over herself and the car in the process. After cleaning up the first mess, one of our associates noticed a foul odor coming from our playhouse display. Someone had gone into the playhouse and pissed and shat all over the interior, including filling up each of the little decorative flower pots inside the house with urine. I hate people sometimes.


I once had a little kid take one whiff of the lobster bisque samples I was handing out and he projectile vomited over the floor. Really gross, he was sitting up in the carriage so it sprayed over an area a good six feet in front of th carriage. I'm pretty glad that he didn't taste it though because after that his mom took him to be tested and it turned out he's really allergic to shellfish. Things could have been a whole lot worse than a puddle of puke.


I once had a homeless woman who shopped/stole/grazed in my store. She had an outfit for each season, which I mean literally - one outfit, never washed, and apparently a sometime portable toilet. She smelled so bad that if she stopped in one place for any amount of time, she would leave a cloud of funk that would choke you.


@Fender ohhh my gosh, I literally gagged when I read your first story. That is disgusting.
Okay, grossest thing... well, a few weeks ago I posted a picture of chewed gum someone left on a rack. It's under "Piggy Shopper Hell" if anyone cares to look. I didn't see who left it but I had to clean it up which is almost grosser. I had a woman who smelled so strongly of cigarette smoke that I almost passed out, and a couple of people with SERIOUS oral hygiene issues. Oh, and once someone took a shit on the floor of our only customer bathroom. >.<


@Humor_Me there is a reason cologne rhymes with alone.

@Fender the Toy Store Bitch If I saw some dude doing that I would beat the ever loving hell out of him!

Little Mall Worker

We sell nose and ear hair trimmers and have one on display. I cannot count how many people stick it up their nose or in their ears. I walked by one person who had it up his nose and it made a water gurgling noise. I about threw-up my gummy worms I was eating.


Guy cutting his toenails on the frickin' subway.


Big Fancy Slave

Hahaha, that was epic disgusting and hilarious.

Here's mine:
At closing, I go to the bathroom and what do I see? Some GUY in the WOMENS bathroom peeing with the fucking stall door open. I mean, REALLY?!?!?! If you're gonna be a weirdo and go in the girls bathroom at least close the door! I don't get people...

Fender the Toy Store Bitch

@ Skittles, don't worry. Our faithful security guard tackled him really hard and dragged him outside. The guy's excuse for traumatizing everyone in the store? "I just wanted to see how soft the bears were," he said before begging that the police not be called, not that it did him any good since they already had.



Holy muffins that shit is just WRONG.

Please tell me he spent a looooong time in jail. Or an asylum.


Oh I found a months old cup behind the sheets one day. We all know how custys don't know how to use the trash can. It was very moldy. That same week I found a footie (hose like sock for trying on shoes) on the floor. And this was at B-Cubed. WTF?


Not retail related, but still makes me laugh everytime I think of it.

Friend of mine at a college party, wasted of course, goes to little boy's room to take care of bidness. No toilet paper, but finds a pack of wet wipes, uses one. Comes back out to us, feeling better, but in a few minutes the look on his face, like he ate a scorpion or something. He grabs his ass and runs out of the party yelling. Yup, the wipes were ajax wipes for cleaning the bathroom. Awesome.


way back yonder when I was in college, I briefly worked for a crazy boss lady at a magazine/convenience store at the city bus stop. One morning when I was working, this old man walked into the store. He REEKED of stale old piss and the shorts he was wearing were urine stained front and back. He sat in one of the plastic chairs at a little table we had for people drinking a coffee and having a snack between transfers. People would walk in, take one whiff and walk right back out. Unfortunately, I didn't have that luxury. I was stuck with this olfactorily abusive individual for the good half hour that he occupied the table, filling the place with his particular aroma. He eventually wandered out and to my horror, had pissed in the chair and onto the floor. I almost gagged as I put on rubber gloves and grabbed some bleach to clean the floor and chair off. Even with that, the smell lingered for a good hour after he left.


My worst was as a fellow customer. I was in Portland standing in line for a fairly well-known local doughnut place around 1 am. This homeless guy came up and asked if we'd buy him a doughtnut. Now, I'm pretty generous and it's my birthday (and I was drinking) so what the hell, yeah, I'll buy you one. He then proceeds to tell me I HAVE to get him one of the cock-and-ball doughnuts, with the chocolate frosting and the whipped cream in the center that you can suck out. This, of course, is accompanied by a look that I couldn't quite tell if it was "damn baby girl I want you to get in the mood so you'll forget about the doughnut and suck ME" or "damn girl, hurry your ass up and get my doughnut cause I gots to suck me some COCK!" When he had sufficiently creeped out me AND my two friends that we politely asked him to go away and wait and we'd get him a doughnut, he proceeded to start screeching about "uptight white bitches" and how we weren't helping a brotha out and how it was all cause he was black. And we must be tourists because his home people didn't diss him like that, you know what I mean?

My friend turned, looked him dead in the eye and said in her oh-so-sweet way, "No, sir. We're ignoring you because you're stoned and being a jackass. We *were* going to be nice to you until you decided to be crude. Back in Texas where I'm from, people have manners and it's got nothin' to do with the color of their skin. You know what *I* mean?"

We left with out doughnuts and he started hassling the other people in line.

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