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8 Custy Tips For Craft Store Shopping

Jason 013From Craft Grunt:

Hello RHU, it's been a while since I last submitted something, usually because I deal with custys after they leave, and the ones I deal with face-to-face don't want to give shit to the guy who's carrying their large item or showing them something (and some are even a little sympathetic when I'm doing something like painting bases), and also because I've been mopping the entryway for the nine millionth time, but I'd like to offer some tips for the custy that wants to shop at [name of craft store I work at].

1. Ringing the bell a thousand times is not going to get you help any faster. Nor will letting your hellspawn do it.

2. Our furniture is 30% off this week. It was last week too, it will be next week, and probably until the end of time. There is a reason for this, and my incredibly awesome store manager told us in a meeting: There is no such thing as a perfect piece of furniture in our store, and the company knows you will not pay full price for it. If you saw how any of our delivery trucks are packed, you'll see that it's a miracle that anything arrives here intact.

2a. That being said, don't expect a further discount for little flaws. Big flaws, probably, but little scratches and crap, don't think so. It starts at a low price, and the perpetual sale makes it lower. If you want a perfect piece of furniture, go to Ashley.

2b. If there is a small flaw and you want a further discount, I'll always call a manager. If the piece is black or has a dark finish, don't expect the scratch or scuff to be there when you turn back. I have a black sharpie in my pocket, and I know how to use it.

3. If you're looking for a more unusual item, I need a minute to think. We have an asston of shit here, and I need to search my memory of it.

4. I don't wear a two-tone blue shirt with [name of store] in orange letters on both sleeves, a dark blue vest that says [name of store] on the front with a nametag right above because I'm a really big fan of the store. I work here; ask me your question. Jason 009a

4a. I want to help you. I really do. Even if management didn't care if I did or not, I still would. That's the kind of person I am. Sometimes I don't have the answer, and I have to find or call somebody else. Sometimes, I just can't help you, nor can the people I can ask, but no matter how snippy you get, I try.

5. The store is run by a Christian company. Didn't you see their full-page Christmas and Easter ads in the paper that didn't have the company logo or deals covering it? This means that we don't sell certain kinds of items. Case in point: We do not have wine racks. Never have, never will.

6. Our restrooms are on the front wall, over by floral. Ask me, and that is exactly what I'll say. I've said it a million times, I'll say it a million more.

7. If there is a DO NOT ENTER/NO ENTRE sign in front of the ladies' restroom, I, or one of my co-workers, is cleaning it. In most cases, you want me to finish, if only to ensure there will be toilet paper in the stall.

8. We close at 8 PM sharp. If you got here any later, too damn bad. If you really wnt me to, I can get the manager closing tonight up here, but don't expect to automatically be let in. I don't care if you drove all the way across the state for one item. If you would've called ahead, we could have told you when we close, and we could have perhaps held the item you want until the 8 PM the next day.

If you follow these tips, your next visit to [name of store] will go more smoothly, and so will our day.

--Craft Grunt





Sounds like you work for the same place I did for a brief time. Which is actually a fairly decent place to work, though I had my share of interesting experienced, too. Note: People who work in the frame shop do not necessarily know what is in Floral.

Note 2: Yes, we will do framing while you wait, but unly if it is a small order, 1-2 items, maybe 3 at most.

No, we will not do seven, unless you manage to get pansy coworker.


Ahhh....the Lobby. I like your store. Always have what I want and nice people.


Seeing that most Christians drink alcohol, I am wondering why someone would assume a furniture store doesn't sell wine racks? Unless they advertised their specific branch of Christianity that is well known for its non drinking foundation.


Chris ~ I'm guessing that they're playing it safe in order to appeal to the ultra-conservative Christian aspect in addition to your adverage consumer. not selling wine racks is a small price to pay for them to appeal to that genre of market. Funny thing is that I've seen decorative bottles that resemble wine bottles at Hob-Lob's before...and stemware as well. Where I grew up very few Christians drank alcohol, or if they did, it was done very secretivly and on rare occasion. And I beleive that the comapny originated somewhere in the Bible Belt, known for it's conservative virtues.
They sell all sorts of craft/hobby/home decor items as opposed to just furniture. They don't really sell Halloween deocrations either, more of just fall-themed stuff.
I worked for The Lobby a long time ago and rather enjoyed it. It fit my niche. I wish I could work there again. So nice to work in a place where they close at 8pm and aren't open at all on Sunday...great to be gaurnteed a weekend day off every week.


I also wonder if it might be a regional thing, because I'm almost certain that I saw something that LOOKED like a wine rack at least at one point when I was working there. But I could be wrong.

On the Christians and not drinking thing.....definitely depends on the group, and I do so love mentioning the Wedding at Cana and Water into Wine miracle when someone tries the "alcohol is unChristian" thing with me...not that it matters all that much seeing as I'm an agnostic who leans toward Paganism (something I kept quiet about during my stint in the frame shop....)

I did however keep my silence once when I overheard much the same conversation and realized the Christian as talking to someone who I knew as a former alcoholic. No sense in giving them a religious rationalization for drinking.

In slavery

I was was a "Hob Goblin" I worked the art and hobby department. Yes custys there IS a difference between Art, Craft, and Hobby. If you have to ask then you just need to shop somewhere else. I never saw a wine rack the entire time I worked there....


Ahh HL I worked there for about a month, hated it and the managers hated me. I just couldn't do anything right. But the list is great. Sadly, some of my rudest custy stories are from my craft store experience. :(


Corvus, I would laugh if anyone said to me that drinking is an unchristian thing considering the biggest christian denomination in the world are the catholics at over 2 billion members and they serve real wine to 8 year olds receiving communion :-) I think the southern baptists have under 100 million and they are the big non drinkers of the bible belt so they are vastly outnumbered by their fellow christ followers.

Religion is a crazy thing. Glad I gave it up for lent several years ago. :-)


OK - I'm assuming this company is US based (I've never heard of it) but am I only person who finds it funny that a 'christian' company is a-OK with selling crappy merchandise (ie. the furniture)?


I miss that place. I could get into so much financial ruin in their fabrics and cross stitch if I went in there right now. Do I really need electricity, rent, dog food, toilet paper, cat food, etc.? Their 50% off sales are my undoing.

"Hi, I'm Humor Me and I have an addiction to HL. I have been sober for 4 years."


me and my friend go to our HL once a week. we've sort of adopted one of the employees there, she's so happy so see us, because we are nice, happy people that are willing to treat her like a human being. its kinda sad how excited she is to see us...

Bingo Worker

Tanz - It's not that the furniture is crappy, per se, just not perfect. It fills the niche between VV Boutique and Ashley fairly nicely, in my opinion.


I love HL but the one nearest to my house must be a horrible place to work, because all the employees are always in such a bad mood. Every question I've asked to different people has been met with grimaces and short answers. Makes me think they have bad management.

Hellbound Alleee

"And after Jesus turned the water into the wine for the wedding party, he offered unto them a toast, blessing them and saying, "All those who brought unto thee a wine rack shall be condemned to hell.'"

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