Hello RHU, it's been a while since I last submitted something, usually because I deal with custys after they leave, and the ones I deal with face-to-face don't want to give shit to the guy who's carrying their large item or showing them something (and some are even a little sympathetic when I'm doing something like painting bases), and also because I've been mopping the entryway for the nine millionth time, but I'd like to offer some tips for the custy that wants to shop at [name of craft store I work at].
1. Ringing the bell a thousand times is not going to get you help any faster. Nor will letting your hellspawn do it.
2. Our furniture is 30% off this week. It was last week too, it will be next week, and probably until the end of time. There is a reason for this, and my incredibly awesome store manager told us in a meeting: There is no such thing as a perfect piece of furniture in our store, and the company knows you will not pay full price for it. If you saw how any of our delivery trucks are packed, you'll see that it's a miracle that anything arrives here intact.
2a. That being said, don't expect a further discount for little flaws. Big flaws, probably, but little scratches and crap, don't think so. It starts at a low price, and the perpetual sale makes it lower. If you want a perfect piece of furniture, go to Ashley.
2b. If there is a small flaw and you want a further discount, I'll always call a manager. If the piece is black or has a dark finish, don't expect the scratch or scuff to be there when you turn back. I have a black sharpie in my pocket, and I know how to use it.
3. If you're looking for a more unusual item, I need a minute to think. We have an asston of shit here, and I need to search my memory of it.
4. I don't wear a two-tone blue shirt with [name of store] in orange letters on both sleeves, a dark blue vest that says [name of store] on the front with a nametag right above because I'm a really big fan of the store. I work here; ask me your question.
4a. I want to help you. I really do. Even if management didn't care if I did or not, I still would. That's the kind of person I am. Sometimes I don't have the answer, and I have to find or call somebody else. Sometimes, I just can't help you, nor can the people I can ask, but no matter how snippy you get, I try.
5. The store is run by a Christian company. Didn't you see their full-page Christmas and Easter ads in the paper that didn't have the company logo or deals covering it? This means that we don't sell certain kinds of items. Case in point: We do not have wine racks. Never have, never will.
6. Our restrooms are on the front wall, over by floral. Ask me, and that is exactly what I'll say. I've said it a million times, I'll say it a million more.
7. If there is a DO NOT ENTER/NO ENTRE sign in front of the ladies' restroom, I, or one of my co-workers, is cleaning it. In most cases, you want me to finish, if only to ensure there will be toilet paper in the stall.
8. We close at 8 PM sharp. If you got here any later, too damn bad. If you really wnt me to, I can get the manager closing tonight up here, but don't expect to automatically be let in. I don't care if you drove all the way across the state for one item. If you would've called ahead, we could have told you when we close, and we could have perhaps held the item you want until the 8 PM the next day.
If you follow these tips, your next visit to [name of store] will go more smoothly, and so will our day.