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Emma's Hijab Freaks Out Custys

Open Letter To Creepy Men Custys

Carolanne 056a Dear Pervy Cockwranglers Who Come Through My Line At Work,

Please stop trying to fool yourself. The only reason that I'm being nice to you is because I'm being financially compensated for it, kind of like a hooker.

The fact that I'm smiling and making eye contact with you does not mean I totally want your flabby, sweaty, I-have-hair-growing-in-the-most-random-of-patches bod.

Please understand that if we had encountered each other under any other set of circumstances, I'd have taken a lemon zester to your testicles by this point.

The only reasons I'm restraining myself now are A) I'm at work and they kind of frown on us mutilating the customers (it's in the handbook somewhere) and B) The lemon zesters are way over there.

In short, I don't want you, and no, it's not because I'm a lesbian. It's because I think people like you should've been chlorinated out of the gene pool before you had the opportunity to take your first, miserable breath.

Stop giving me your number (which I'll just use to pizza you), stop openly oogling my tits (I know, they're lovely and that's the closest you'll ever get to them) and stop complaining to my manager that I was rude because I rejected your awkward, 7th-grade-style advances.

Isn't there a cousin you could be having better luck with?

Die in a firey landslide you complete and utter waste,

--Kiwi Berry

 

Comments

Arcade Slave

And all the brothers and sisters said, amen!

Humor_Me

Twenty-five years ago (crap, I hated typing that) I had a body that would get looks like that because I was very active. Never the face though. Even when I was pregnant I'd get guys oogling me. For Fuck's Sake! I've already been boned! You haven't and that's not my problem, now LEAVE ME ALONE!

Tina

Humor Me, some pervs get off on pregnant chicks. As one guy put it, "It's one less thing to worry about." Ewwww!

Riferous

Boobies! Oh, wait, that's not what I meant...

me

They do that cause you HAVE to listen and talk to them. That's the closest they're ever going to get to a date with a real live non-inflatable in-person girl. Joy.

Skittles

I think the message here is don't hit on people who are working. Whether it's a server, cashier, or just a general customer service rep it's really rude and awkward.

Mya

Agreed with Skittles....and wasn't there a letter/story posted on xmas eve that said basically the same thing?

Chatty Cathy

I think the message is more don't be an overbearing creep about hitting on people, rather than don't hit on people at all. There's a total difference between honestly showing interest and being a pervy slob.

When I was single and working there were some customers I wouldn't have minded a few advances from. I think its silly to put a wall up simply because you're at work.

Of course, I'm engaged now, and I met my fiance totally randomly just by telling him he was cute and getting his number (it was at a restaurant, but he didnt work there) so I guess I am an odd case.

carotte

I've been guilty of oogling at a cute cashier.. but he's usualy one or two lanes over ( so not ringing me up ), and I'm so shy that I would probably melt or flee before even saying 'hi'.
Story point: if you're a creeper or a stalker, at least do it far far away.

Kira

I work in a sleep lab where I have to work close with patients and often guys are just in underwear. The amount of guys who get fresh with me, woman who think just because I work in a hospital I don't mind seeing their boobs.

Humor_Me

@Tina:They may not have to worry about getting me pregnant, but then they have to worry about my crazy hormones. I was a bitch on wheels. If you thought I was mean PMS-ing, you should have seen me pregnant. Chuck Norris steered clear of me.

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definetely i'm going tocheck your other posts. thank you.

Kattybitch

Humor.Me. I got the weirdest thing said to me when I was pregnant a few months ago. The guy I was ringing up was being ackward and at one point asked if I was fun. I was like I guess... His Responce: well I figured since you were pregnant you liked having fun.
WTF man! What's that supposed to mean? 9'\

ServiceStationSlave

I swear I only get hit on by creepy OLD guys (I'm 28... they're older than my dad.) Except for a semi stalker I had... but he doesn't come around any more thank god

Skittles

@Humor_Me Hey now Chuck Norris doesn't steer clear of anyone since Bruce Lee died. ;)

Humor_Me

@Skittles: How do you think Bruce Lee died??? >;-E

Skittles

@Humor_Me In one of the Bruce Lee movies (I forget the title but it was about a restaurant). Chuck plays a bad guy assassin and Bruce Lee kills him towards the end of the movie.

snuzzle

@Humor_me, you actually CAN get pregnant while pregnant, though it's very, very rare and pretty much happens only during the first few weeks of pregnancy before most women even know they've conceived. Still, though.

Drugs Ho

Or in other words:

"Hey everyone pay attention to me cos I'm young and hot - yay me!! It's like SO annoying to be hit on, it's practically a fucking disability being so freakin' HOT, and I totes hate it and all. But really I'm VERY VERY hot and men stare at me all the time. Probably women as well."

Etc etc ad infinitum.

You do know that sometimes people are just being friendly, right? Saying hi and asking how you are...that's NOT always being hit on.

Jeez, some people need to quit the self love before they go blind.

Arcade Slave

-sniffs- I smell - a TROLL.

Drugs Ho

You mean me? Ok, maybe I'm totally wrong here but I didn't think the definition of "troll" was someone who *shock horror* doesn't agree with what the OP says.

It just pisses me off, the double standards. Hottie McHotterson up there is all "I'm so hot, they so ugly, I'm paid to smile and be nice it doesn't mean I'm interested in you". What about the people who smile and be nice just for the sake of being nice?!
Ok so maybe there are some men that come onto girls in shops, and maybe they go overboard sometimes. Big deal.
But I bet sometimes this "icky yucky creepy come on" is actually just a simple "hey how are you doing" from a custy. You know, the people that you complain about when they're rude and don't talk to you?

Can't have it both ways.

Barwench

I totally feel you! I've been bartending for a year now and my customers do not seem to understand that I'm paid to be nice to them! Just because I'm friendly it does not mean I'm into you and no, you will never get to see me naked, so stop trying. Not to mention most of my bar guys are a good twenty years older than me... eww. I don't have daddy issues so peddle your crap elsewhere! That felt good... end rant... lol.

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