I called myself Dishing Washing Monkey, but I moved on. You can call me Art Rat.
Well, I have been putting it off for a while, because honestly it was a traumatic experience. My 6 weeks of working at Hellmart, was just plain horrible. I have done retail in many capacities, been a server, worked at an amusement park, and a small hardware store (the custy’s were actually pretty awesome there). Nothing prepared me for working at Hell. The people who go to the one I worked at ARE the dredges of society.
Here is a list of observations and instances that just make my mind hurt, on the stupidity and entitled attitude of these cretins.
1. The EBT card users.
Don’t bring $150.00 dollars worth of food, when you only have $50.00 on your card. After I ring up all your crap, don’t start picking and choosing what items you want after it is bagged up and in your cart. I don’t want to spend the next 30 minutes digging through your stuff, so you can pick what you want and the people behind you don’t appreciate it. Then I am left with a cart full of perishable groceries that I need to put back, before it melts. GRRRRR. Also, drop the fucking attitude. It is not my fault you can’t do simple math or figure out how to inquire about the amount on your card. I have got some bad news, the world does not revolve around you.
2. Control your crotch fruit.
There seemed to be a least one screaming kid within 10 feet of me all the time. I think my ovaries have officially shrank to the point of being non-existent. Here is a little instance. The store has these merry go round type of bag holders. The cashiers twirl them around to fill them up. They are designed with these metal arms that stick out. This bitch woman with the “sassy type” attitude, if you get my drift, had a kid. While I was bagging, the brat sticks his head in between the metal arms, just as I was going to move it. Of course, I say in an alarming voice, “Don’t put your head there!” Of course “sassy attitude” bitch says, “Don’t yell at my kid!” Ok, cunt I will just give your kid even more brain damage.
3. Items that you think are on sale.
Don’t bring me an item, you think is on sale and bitch because it costs double the price than you think. If you see a display for 100 red shoes for $5.00, don’t try to convince me that pair of single black boots you found in the display are the same price. People have been known to just dump their items anywhere. And another thing, don’t bitch at me if you think an item is 5 cents cheaper. It is fucking 5 cents and I am 90% sure the price I rang up is correct. Really, you would waste 10 minutes arguing with me about it.
Many times I don’t even want to bother arguing with the custy’s about them. So I just would override them. I do have my limits, though. This lady brings up a coupon for 2 for 1. She honestly thought she was being clever. Um, if the item is packed 2 at a time with shrink wrap, doesn’t mean you get it at half price.
5. WIC users.
Hey, I understand if you are young and have kids you could use some help feeding your kid nutritionally. Just don’t let me ring up all your items and present me with 5 different WIC checks. Then I need to void out the whole transaction, call a CSM to approve it, unpack everything and restart the process. Another thing, don’t bring up items that are not WIC approved and then go running back and forth trying to get the right item. The tags are right underneath to let you know what is WIC approved.
6. Motorized carts.
I would say about 90% of the time they are used by morbidly obese people. Then they come through my line with all this crap food. Hmm, maybe there is a correlation to why you need those carts.
7. The corporate culture of Hell.
The propaganda that corporate spews out is scary. What amazes me is that several employees swallow it up. I had one asst. manager brag about how much charity Hell gave last year. What he failed to mention was all that money came from the hard working employees. All corporate would cough up is maybe footing the bill on construction paper and some markers to show everyone how wonderful they are.
8. Customer Service Mgrs (CSM).
Bunch of useless morons. They spent more time socializing or staying glued to the podium. I have had to wait an hour for change, because they are busy doing, who knows what. One of my co-workers was 8 months pregnant. The poor thing waited an hour for the CSM, to watch the self check out for 5 lousy minutes, so she have a bathroom break. All that time he was standing at the famous podium doing shit. I had one CSM who was obsessed with name tags. Yet, she couldn’t figure out that I am leaving in an hour and still haven’t had my last break or the fact I was to go home a half hour ago. It is printed up for your convenience moron. Do not, I repeat, do not come bitching to me how stressed you are, when you completely forgotten to give my last break. It is the fuckin’ law.
9. Don’t complain to the CSM that some overworked underpaid cashier wasn’t friendly enough.
You are shopping at HELL! If you want employees to fall all over you when you walk through the door, go shopping someplace else. What do you think this is, the Chanel store in Mid Town Manhattan?
Sorry, if it is super long, but I just had to purge. After 6 weeks, I had it. Two bitch customers complained about my “attitude,” in a half hour. And to those customers, FUCK YOU! Yeah, I am going to get attitude when you pull the only $50.00 on your EBT, but have a $150.00 worth of food stunt. To the second customer. You stupid fat ugly beast of a woman. Yeah, I am going to have attitude with you yelling at your kid, because he squashed your precious bananas and then forget your fucking wallet in the car. All I remember is she had these arms with black hair all over them. I still don’t understand how she was able to get someone to screw her to have her kid. Ick.
So the managers offered to assign me to another dept. I said “Let me think about it.” Went home had a good cry and never went back. Unconsciously, I probably just walked away, so I would never have the option of being hired at Hell again. To the people on RHU who work at Hell, I salute you. It is a tough job.
Oh, and P.S. Hell. Those gazillion cameras you have all over the store isn’t fooling anyone. It is physically impossible to have one or two people to watch everything and plus you are too cheap to hire enough help to do it.
I feel much better.