Crusty Mix: Just Add Whine
RHUer Needs Roomate Advice

Hated Customer Lines: "You Must Be New"

Damien2 Hey RHU! Damien here!

I was at a bank today, and I heard a lady in front of me say my personal least favorite custy phrase of all time, "You must be new here."

This reminded me of one particularly asshatish custy I served over the summer.

*cue flashback*

Okay, some background. Last year the park got new registers with touch screens, laser scanners, improved credit card swipers, etc. Now, typically, half of them crashed every other day. If we were lucky, the wouldn't crash, they would just lock up, reset, or give us error messages. (Damn things were running the 2005 version of windows xp)

Now, on to the cunt-plunging fuckface:

It was a relatively slow day due to it being cloudy with a chance of rain. A lady came up to my register, ordered a pizza and a drink. No problem so far, she was polite and even said "please" (i thought i was going to die from the shock of it). When the order was in the system, i pressed the Pay Now button, and lo and behold, the register Blue Screened.

I politely told the lady that i needed to grab my manager because the register was having issues. She replied with the kind of voice you'd use to talk to a baby or puppy, saying "it's okay, you're just new is all."

What? I don't even...

Listen bitch, I've been in this shithole for 3 years, it's not my fault these registers are about as reliable as a Jersey Shore cast member (Seewhatididthere?)

Does anyone else get annoyed by this phrase?

Peace, love, and rock and roll,




Argh, that phrase pisses me off, although for different reasons. It's the sort of phrase custies use on my new starters when they just want them to break the rules. 'Oh, you must be new. [staff member who isn't here] does it all the time.' No, no they don't.
One of the first things I tell my new hire-ees is to just play it by the book, and if they're not sure to call me or another store. Customers will try that kind of line all the time with a newbie.
Sometimes they try it on me (note: my badge says 'Store Manager', and I've been here 3 years). I have developed a tactic for dealing with it, however.

Whiny Custy: Oh, but the other guy serves me without ID?
Me: (innocent) Does he? Which one, the blond or the one with dark hair?
WC: The blond.
Me: Well, he shouldn't. It's against the law, so I'll have to put him on disciplinary.
WC: (goes a little pale) Ah..I didn't want to get anyone into trouble...

Well maybe you shouldn't be such a lying, wheedling cunt-bag then, should you?

(please note: I would never put any of my guys on disciplinary over one douchebag custy comment like that. I am not a bitch)

Grendus the Self Check Guy

I do the same thing, only I usually start asking them if it was the other white guy. When they say it was, I politely point out that the only other male cashier at my store is hispanic, and tell them that they must be thinking of another store, my store has x policy and so I cannot do what they're asking.

I'd like to call them a lying whore, but I'm saving that for when I quit the store (it's either that, or getting caught playing solitare on the self check machines, haven't decided yet).

clothing cadaver

H A T E this phrase. Hate it. Completely. I can't even express it.
Last time a custy tried to pull one over on me and say that I must be new for following policy instead of doing whatever dumb/illegal/wrong shit she claimed "the other girl" did for her the last time, I told her the other girl was probably new since she apparently didn't follow the proper procedure; I, on the other hand, have been working at my store for 3.5 years and am fully versed in company policy. She shut her fucking mouth after that one.
Movie-licious, I never thought of that tactic before, but it sounds just like the stupid lying shit that an idiot customer would pull. They'll do anything to try and trip a newbie up and get their way.


"My! What an interesting Assumption!"
(Ahhhhh! Love it! Hate the phrase though.


My response, while waiting for a reboot:
"I'm not new, the computer is old and doesn't work well. I'm so sorry for the inconvenience. They really need to upgrade the software. Nobody listens to us grunts though. Here's the contact information for the corporate office, since you've been inconvenienced by their faulty software. Since you're a customer, perhaps they'd take it more seriously."

It wouldn't make a difference if one person did it, but if they were getting a few calls a week, perhaps they'd take notice.

Customer Service Slut

Ohhh man! This is worse than "you look bored." I may not have been at my job for 3 years, but I've been there for about 8 months and I know what I'm doing. They don't even use the phrase if I mess something up. They just assume that everyone knows everyone and that if they didn't see me at the counter before, I just started. And when I inform them that no, actually I've been working here for a while, they say, "Well, I know everyone here and I've never seen you before." Your point? Just because you're blind... -Grumble grumble- I absolutely *hate* this phrase because it's always accompanied with a patronizing tone that says "you have no idea what you're doing."


Lol I hate that phrase with a passion. I once had a particularly self-important customer remark that I must be new when I asked for his ID to verify his credit card. I asked him why he thought I was new and he replied (in that really uppity way that makes you want to punch him) that he was "kind of a regular, hahahaha!"

*Me (raises eyebrow)* "really? I've been working here for over a year and I've never seen you before"

*customer leaves looking noticeably deflated*

Seriously Damien. Just tell it like it is: you're not new. It shuts them right up.

Mouse Mastered

I'M SO GLAD WE HAVE SERVICE PINS. You get one for being there for at LEAST one year, and a new one at 5 years, 10, etc.

I just have to point out my steamboat willie pin and tell them what it means. =D

Burger Bitch

I was told that the other day and nearly shat a lion.

The DT cash has been acting up lately, so I had to grab a piece of paper and figure out the change and the woman said "Oh, you must be new then."

No, fuckhat, are you?


We are required to check ID on all Debit/Credit transactions, because we can only run as credit, and being next to a casino, we get a LOT of stolen cards...

The day after they started this shit, an EMS worker came in. I asked for his ID and he said 'I come in here all the time!' 'I know, but it's new policy.' Dipshit was on his phone and said 'Oh, it's nothing. The new girl just doesn't know who I am, yet.'

'...I've been here for three years, if I don't know you, you must not be important.'


I have to say my least favorite comment comes from my coworkers... "Oh, she can help you right over here."

Um, there's a reason I haven't yet offered to help the customer. I'm usually already busy with something, and I only ever continue the task when there's another person there to assist the customer immediately. On a very rare occasion, it's because the customer has said or done something inappropriate and I have no intention of working with said customer again. Don't direct a customer over to me while I"m doing my work, simply because you don't feel like dealing with them yourself or think I have nothing better to do. I will never ignore a customer or leave them hanging while I finish something less time sensitive, but I hate being treated like a slave.

NC Tony

Several months ago they changed our name tags at work, instead of saying in small font (red on gold) under our names "Team member since ____", it now says in white on black text in the same size font as our name "__ Years of Service". This has been useful in watching customers shoot themselves in the foot. I was in the store one day as a customer. And lo and behold, I hear the tail end of a conversation that ends with the "You must be new" line. I turn to look and see that this entitled bitch is saying it to one of the managers, whose name tag has accidentally flipped over. The manager keeps her cool, notices her name tag and flips it over where, under her name, it says "10 Years of Service". The custys face fell. I don't know what the whole conversation was about, but I silently awarded that manager an Epic Win.


It's condescending, that's why I hate it. "Oh, it's okay that you're doing things wrong. Because you're obviously new." :|


My husband got that when he was working for a now-bankrupt "Hollywood" game company. They were notorious for having shitty computers that always caused problems, so most customers understood. One actually suggested he was new after working there nearly 6 months and he just looked at her and said "Yeah, because the computer only screws up for new people, right?"
Lucky him, he had an awesome manager who would throw people out for making complaints of being called on their own stupidity. :)


Once the delivery guy said, “Where’s the regular guy?” when I signed for the delivery. Grrr.

“Where’s the older guy? HE wouldn’t ask me for a driver’s license with my check!”


ARGH. I HATE it when they pull that line.

I had a crusty yesterday who tried to return a $99 cake mixer that was working fine. When I had explained to this lady that she couldn’t return the cake mixer since it had been used and was well past our 30 day return policy, she said “Oh, you must be new. I came in and talked to [Manager who no longer works there] yesterday, she and I are best friends and she said I could return it!”

Oh, I see! So you’re absolute besties yet you don’t know that said manager hasn’t worked here in almost two months? Tell me, why don’t I believe that?

Malmart Peon

Incognito: One of my coworkers does that too! If we're both standing at the front waiting for customers he will purposefully direct them to me. And if I'm stocking and he's next to the register he will try and whistle at me to get my attention! It drives me bonkers and takes all of my self restraint to keep from slapping him so hard his head rotates.

I've been at my Malmart for almost three years, and people still try to make the "new" comment. >:o I'm sorry that I ask you AND your girlfriend who is standing right next to you and talking to you about smokes for your IDs when you come through the tobacco line. I don't feel like getting written up, fined, and possibly fired! Bitch PLEASE!

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