Ritzy Reject
Employee Restroom Toilet Signage For Men

Science Ninja's Learned Retail Lessons

ScienceNinja Hello, I am Science Ninja, and I am a sorceress and daughter of the devil.

I have two lessons for you today:

1) People are actually insane. Just. Really. Insane.

2) It's never good to stand out when you work in Retail.

Sooo, a little story for you here. I have lots to tell, but I wanted to tell this one cause it's freaking hilarious!

May 21st, when everyone was dying from the rapture, I went into the town where I work shopping. A little back story here, I'm a punk, and my hair is dyed black and blue (I tie it back for work so you can't really see it) and my boyfriend... Is a steam punk. This means he walks around with a top hat and a cane. I find it pretty freaking awesome, but people do tend to avoid us on the street... I wonder why...

Anyway, skip to the next day, and I'm working. A little old, quite frankly innocent looking lady walked up to me and had the following conversation.

Old Lady: Excuse me, were you shopping in town yesterday?

Science Ninja: Yes, I was, why do you ask?

OL: (literally out of the blue) SORCERESS!

SN: Um, Ok, What? Sickocustya1

OL: I saw you with the boy you brought back from the dead. He was not of our time. You have used sorcery to bring him back, and thus you are a devils child. I pray for your soul.

And then she walked off.

Honestly, I really do love working in retail. It really brightens up my life.

Until next time retail slaves, The Sorceress is signing out...

--The Science Ninja



Cherry IScream

Ok, this woman has clearly been forgetting to take her pills, but why are old people allowed to talk to us like that? If it was the other way around, people would flip the fuck out.

Also, your boyfriend sounds awesome. I love steampunk.

Malmart Peon


For realz, that was pretty funny. Did you hear how the crazy guy pushed back the date of the supposed rapture to October (or august, I forget which)? What a crazy old coot!


That would have made me lol (after a few minutes of WTF-just-happened? ).

Hey, I have a question science ninja, how would most people in the steampunk scene would react if a complete stranger where to tell them that they look awesome?
I mean, from what I gather it's mostly fun and open-minded people right? and I know this kind of stuff depends from person to person, but if I was to come across someone 'in character' is it ok to tell them they look cool?


I find steampunk very classy and creative. Most of it is handmade so I have no idea why that would even be a terrible thing.

And where does your boyfriend find his tophats? I've yet to find the perfect one other than the typical black silk opera ones.

NC Tony

Seriously? I love fantasy and sci-fi as much as the next geek (yeah I'm an old school V:tM gamer geek), but even my ten year old son knows that what he sees in the movies are just special effects and guys in costumes. He gets a kick out of seeing the so-called "weird" people who have tattoos, multiple piercings and multicolored hair. This woman on the other hand... if you really were a sorceress, well, I doubt you'd be pulling down a minimum wage retail job.


@MMOrpgMom: blondeswan.com has a nice felt top hat. My boyfriend has one and its a really nice quality.



Okay, that... that's priceless!

I get comments on my cat-ears all the time, always along the lines of "OMGCUTE!"

Then again, I'm just a cat cleverly disguised as a human...


IIIIII wanna waltz around in a top-hat and cane! I really like the steampunk corset-dresses...though I don't have the figure or ability to afford them, I still think they're spiffy.

Lab Rat

Wow, what a weirdo! O.o People accuse the punk/goth/rocker scene of being weird, but from what I've experienced, most of them are just regular kids. It's the HATERS that are the real weirdos. Seriously, who the hell goes around calling people "sorceresses"??
My friend's uber-conservative-gestapomom mother once apparently listed off reasons why everyone else in our Geek Clique was a "bad influence", and apparently she called me a "good for nothing witch" (I dabbled in Wicca at the time). I just laughed and asked my friend if that meant I got to dance naked on her lawn. XD
And on a side note, I LOVE steampunk. :3 I'm actually going all-out steampunk for comic con this year... I'm super excited! *squee*


LOL ! How could you keep a straight face while speaking with that lady ? I would have lost it the minute she said "sorceress".


Awesome. Just awesome.


Can you please tell me how to raise a boyfriend from the depths of hell? These living boys are all so boring...

Fender the Toy Store Bitch

Steampunk = I own and can use the Necronomicon. I am going to use that the next time I get my Steampunk gear on! :D

The Kid

"I am a sorceress and daughter of the devil"
Have to admit, I thought you were being serious here and I was going to skip your story because most people who say shit like that are bizarre.
But I'm glad I did.

Malmart Peon

Some people are just crazy. :D My friends and I love older style clothes, like Victorian & Renaissance era. I have a beautiful black leather Victorian corset that raised some eyebrows. :) It's a lot fun to jerk these people's collective chains (these people being those idjits who don't have a filter between their brain and mouth). We like to dress up and go out for no reason (other than the clothes are fantastic). :D For realz, you & your boyfriend rock.


Irony: I was at the Steampunk World's Fair in NJ during the Rapture! Most of the rooms had a stage with performers, and the one I was in did a countdown a la New Year's Eve. Pretty rockin'.

And Blonde Swan has goorrgeous hats. I bought a leather lady's riding hat from there, very satisfied!


Like Spritzy, I'd love to stroll around with a top hat and cane. Not that I own either of them. But ah well. This is just hilarious.

Gallifrey Girl

This is awesome. I would like to work steampunk into a Dalek costume, but I first need to figure out how to make a Dalek costume. Last time I tried sewing I ended up with stitches!


BWAHAHAHA! This seriously just made my week! I know it's not nice to mock the delusional, but ho-lee-shiit they say the funniest damn things.

College Fried Wench

Another person that goes around in top hats! YUSSS!

And I'm with the other posters in the "How the hell did you keep a straight face?" camp.


"May 21st, when everyone was dying from the rapture..."
Your cheekiness makes me LOL!

How did the old lady know your bf wasn't a previously-deceased soul being raptured up from the bowels of the earth?

Cheers from someone who goes about in corset, with parasol :)


My wife and I love the Steam Punk style, but this is the first time I have hear of someone being "Raised from the Dead" for dressing in SP dress.

Spritzy, you might try http://www.festoonedbutterfly.com/
My wife just ordered from them and she was able to get one tailored to her. Very affordable. We met the owner at the Oklahoma Steam Punk Fair last month.


@Gallifrey Girl: "Last time I tried sewing I ended up with stitches!"

I don't think you know it, but you made a punny and I got a chuckle out of it ;-).


In reply to "How did you keep a straight face?" Honestly, I'm very good at dead pan comedy. I can keep a straight face through anything if I wanted to. But, I must admit, after she left I was in stitches behind the tills :-).

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