It has been the rule in my house, on the bus, and on the plane that if someone else can clearly hear your music, ITS TOO FUCKING LOUD! If you want to play music that loud, then get yourself a pair of padded earphones that blocks the sound going out. As a migraine sufferer, there is nothing more annoying than listening to someone else's noise pollution. Those mp3 players have a volume control for a reason. And if it has to be that loud, it probably means you're already starting to suffer hearing loss.

Try asking music guy what he's listening to. "X band." "Oh, really? Because from ALL THE WAY OVER HERE, it sounds like Y Band. My mistake!" It might make him think "hurr durr too loud."

As for phone girl, she needs a reminder from someone, anyone, that the phone is for everyone and the conversation needs to be work appropriate. A manager would step in if you were giving out graphic details of your sex life, medical procedures deserve the same treatment.

Heh: Maybe it's my morbid and twisted mind. But I just enjoy the fact that the girl who talks about abortions apparently has a stick up her ass.

I think anything involving the bedroom, the bathroom or the doctor should be kept to minimum voice level. But that's just me.

And sometimes the "loud enough for all to enjoy" goes the other way. I was on the bus and some woman halfway down the bus was yapping to her friend sitting NEXT to her so frickin loud, I had to turn up my music to drown her out. But poor Ian Anderson was no match ...

As someone who likes to have my MP3 player going when I work (since I work after the store has closed) I still make sure it's not so loud that anyone standing close to me can hear. Although, a few years ago, I had a memorable run in with an asshole bus driver. It was late at night, I was the only passenger on the bus by this point, so I had moved up to the front, and the bus driver complained that my walkman (remember those?) was too loud, so I turned it down. He said it was still too loud, so I turned it down again, until I could barely hear it. He then turned to me and practically yelled "If I have to tell you to turn it down again I'll kick off the goddamn bus! Turn it off!" If it wasn't for the fact that it was late at night, and I was still far away from my stop (and would have had to walk through a very bad neighborhood) I would have gotten off right then and there. As it was I glared at him until I got to my stop, I stood up, looked him in the eye, said, "You know, you're a fucking asshole!" and got off and went home. Lucky for me, I never did see him again.

As for the co-worker talking about something as personal as an abortion (especially since she's leaving in all the gory details) I probably would have told her to shut the hell up, because no one wants to hear that.

Sometimes on the bus I can hear the lyrics of the song the guy 2 seats in front of me is listening to. Enjoy your hearing loss buddy. Most people will turn it down if you ask though, only the occasional super dick cranks the volume.

I think abortion girl needs remedial lessons on what is and isn't appropriate workplace conversation. Perhaps you could post one of those Highlights cartoons on the break room wall. Goofus describes a medical procedure in nauseating detail. Gallant discusses the sporting event he watched last night. I don't think I'd know how to approach her. If your managers aren't the type to fire first and ask questions later you could ask one of them to talk to her. It's why they get paid more than you after all.

For both situations, don't be passive aggressive - speak up. Ask guy one politely to turn the volume down, citing your migraine. Most people will, unless he's an asshole or you're a chronic complainer. Girl two might be tougher, since someone who discusses something controversial and nauseating around lunch while texting on the other phone probably has entitlement issues. But speak up, and if she's willing to be reasonable it's over. If not, get a manager involved, that's just wrong.

My penny's worth: Abortion is a complex and difficult issue about which, as we all know only too well, there is no real agreement across society. For that reason and many others is not something about which anybody apart from the two parents in question, between them, should have the power of an absolute say-so.

However, everybody else should definitely have the right not to hear about it if they don't wish to.