It's been a while since I last posted, and I'm glad to announce that I am no longer getting bounced back and forth from misses and juniors. The girl who was our full time juniors person took went to another department to be a lead, so that means that juniors is mine, and I couldn't be happier.
I now am working by myself most of the time (though I get help when I need it, seeing as how it's back to school time), I am in charge of a nice small department, and it's seldom insanely busy. I have to say, though, the best part is not having to deal with the drama over in misses, and no longer having to work with the department Houdini (now you see her, and then you don't, for hours on end, and no one knows where the hell she is). I also like that the juniors girl is somewhere else now, as she constantly made cheap shots at me about how she's the only person who ever did anything, when I would do just as much, and she'd talk on her phone and read, while taking credit for work that others did.
But that's not why I'm here today.
Juniors has it's own brand of headaches, lots of snotty teenagers, NAT's, and middle aged women thinking they can, and should wear clothing meant for 14 year olds (I myself still shop in the department even though I'm 28, but I'm talking about the 50 year old women who are buying booty shorts and wearing skin tight leggings as pants), and completely negligent young mothers who have screaming, climbing hellspawn, but it's not so bad, it's all pretty much to be expected over there.
But a couple of days ago, I had to deal with this one woman who I wanted to punch until she was a red and purple pulp.
There's this lady that comes in once and a while, and she's obsessed with finding these camis that she got one of a few months back. She's kind of a pain in the ass, as the first time she came back to look for them, I caught her going through the customer hold room looking for one, and couldn't grasp the concept of "those are on hold for other customers", and anyways, it was a fluke that we had a couple of them in the first place, they came from another store in a huge transfer we got to bulk up our clearance, but she's insistent that she get more of these damn things.
Well, I haven't seen her in a couple of months, and it took me a minute to remember who she was, until she pulled up her shirt to show me said cami, which apparently, she wears every day in lieu of a bra (she's short, round, and pushing 60, so it was not the prettiest sight), I tell her that we haven't gotten any in, and probably won't, as they're a style from last summer, but she's still pushing me to find two for her in the alternate universe of our store to store system, okay, sure, I'll look, and make a few calls. I ask her for her name and number, and that I'll get back to her once I can track some down. Oh no, this won't do, of course, she doesn't have an answering machine, so she'll just wait.
This is where it gets REALLY annoying.
The thing about the woman is that she is excessively chatty. When she was saying that she wanted more of that style of cami, it took her about 20 minutes of incessant chattering to finally ask me if I could look on the store to store system.
So, as I'm going through the computer to see which stores might have this 3.99 shirt, she's just yammering away about anything and everything, until she says "I see you around all the time, so this is where you work, you live on ______ street, right" I do, so I tell her that, and she proceeds to ask me if I know mr so and so and mrs what's her face and so on, I tell her no.
My neighborhood is the kind of neighborhood where there's super nice old victorian houses alongside run down duplexes, and the people she's asking me about are of the victorian house set, and I'm of the crappy apartment building set. But anyways, it turns out she lives in one of the houses that's owned by the same rental company I rent from, so I tell her which building I live in, and she starts going on and on about what a terrible and depressing building mine is, and the one she lives in is so much nicer. Yeah.
To try to stand up for myself, I mention that the rent is somewhat affordable, and that they allow pets in my building. I have a dog, and it's incredibly difficult to find a place that will allow a dog that I can afford. That's when she says:
"I think the rental company should make all the tenants get rid of their pets, and if they don't, they should get an order to have them put down, or the tenant should get evicted."
I'm going out of my way to look for a clearance shirt for you, and you tell me in a super nice way that I should put my healthy, energetic, year old dog down because you think that all dogs in general are a nuisance? You don't even live in my building! My neighbors are fine with my dog, and there are at least 4 other people in my neighborhood with outdoor dogs that bark, should they all be put to sleep too?
I'm biting my tongue at the time, saying only that I love my dog more than anything, and that no one else seems to mind, and she continues to lecture me about how smelly and bothersome dogs are and that I should think of other people in the neighborhood before I do something so selfish as owning a dog (she's doing this in a fakey nicey nice way, by the way). I'm still looking for the shirt, when all I want to do is tell her to get the fuck out of my department, and go up to lingerie and get a REAL bra, instead of squeezing her deflated bean bags into a tank top meant for skinny teenage girls.
Well, she finally changes the subject, which would have been a relief, until she says this gem.
"I didn't know you worked here! I thought you were a streetwalker for the longest time! What a relief!"
Okay, you just told me I should put my dog to sleep (which you didn't know about until I told you), and now you're telling me you thought I was a prostitute? I mean, yeah, I'm often walking to and from work in my work clothes, but I'm not really dressed slutty, unless you count knee length skirts and high heels as absolutely whorish.
At this point I want her the hell out of there, and I found some stores that supposedly have the shirt, so I tell her that I need to call around, and to come back in a little bit to check to see what I find, she leaves and I call the stores. After calling 4 stores, and finding that none of them have it, she comes back.
With hidden pleasure, I tell her that I couldn't find any stores that have it. She prattles on and on about how awful that is, that she really wants them, and I tell her that there's nothing I can do, because no other store has them, and how we're not going to get any more in, as it's a style we don't carry. Then, after all of the shit I have just gone through with her she says this:
"Oh, okay, I came in last week, and the other girl looked for me, I just wanted to see if someone else would have more luck."
What. The. Fuck.
I just did all of that, took all those insults, and you basically already KNEW I wasn't going to find anything?.
I can't even describe how bad my head hurts when I think of it.
I hope she gets eaten alive by wild dogs....that'll show her.