Hi, my names Nick.
This isn't retail, but public service. I used to have a job cleaning public toilets on a seaside town in Yorkshire, England from 5am-3pm on holidays, weekdays rain or shine. Indirectly it's retail as people spend a lot of money on the tourism on the front.
On the morning, from 6-10 you got the weekend warrior shitters; these guys are the die hard paper readers who bring their own papers. They will shit whether you are there or not and will insist on talking to you wether you like it or not, priding themselves on how loud they can sploosh as they crimp off a sloppy log of morning goodness.
Next you have the lunch time junkies who shoot up and shit everywhere straight afterwards, needles and shit included.
Then you have the after lunch families all busting for a gagging shit after 3 kilos of fish and chips. They will all cluster into one cubicle and take turns in shitting with the kids then grandad and mum last. This usally involves ALL of the paper gone and things like news paper or socks / pants left covered in sweet smelling brown gold. Because they have been on the beach all day, they walk around in their bare feet or sandals, paddling shit and piss with them mixed with dirty sand. Lastly there are the toilet paper bandits who have a fetish for dismantling the dispensers and taking the industrial sized rolls for their own. Usally, the women's.
I have seen shit smeered on the roof, in sinks, diarrhea sprayed across a cubicle with piss in the bowl.
I have been on my knees cleaning a urinal while someone stood above me started using it, the small droplets of stray piss hitting the back of my neck.
Standard issue clothing was a pair of green polyester non waterproof trousers, a polyester fleece and a pair of doc martin boots. On most occasions I would wear a pair of disposable gloves as the chemicals we use to disinfect usually rot rubber gloves fairly quick. No face masks, goggles or bunny suits.
I have to be a bit sexist here and say that the women's toilets in my experience were by far the worst, or perhaps just British girls. They're a bunch of animals.
I have seen what can't be unseen, my girlfriend would probably not believe half the stuff if I told her. It's a shock to the system for the first few days, but after a couple of weeks, nothing surprised me.
My most memorable experience would have to be aftermath from a shit war.
This is where the local dickhead delinquent kids will gather after a few drinks and defecate into their hands and throw shit at each other in the public toilets. Sometimes this will be with the aid of wetted tissue, or tissue with shit. 50 / 50 ratio. The tissue hardens leaving crusty particles of shit embedded into the pebble dashed walls that requires a blunt knife and fingers to pick out, or re-wetting and scraping off. I had filled 3 whole bin bags, 50 litre bags of the stuff in one sitting. Most days, you will get 8-10 50 litre bags of used paper, nappies and medical waste from 6 toilet blocks, each block containing around 10 cubicles and trough urinals. Each bag filled by hand.
When I used to come home I could smell piss on my own breath and would shower for half an hour trying to get clean. I would repeat this 6 times a week 4am start. Granted the scenery of the coast was nice. After reading some of the stories on this site, I would consider them very tame experiences for the inexperienced. Until you have been there and got the t-shit it's impossible to comprehend the things a council worker will see in a day.
I'm now a music teacher in Australia, but no-one knows what jobs I've done before for a dollar.
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