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Foul-Mouthed Custy Mom Gets Told and Prompts RHU Discussion: How Do You Handle Swearing Custys?

Holidayretailballs

Number 672 gets a Retail Balls Award for having the courage to speak up to a mom swearing in front of her child:

Number 672 here!

So, it's been a while since I've written, but believe it or not, working the PetShart has been mostly uneventful. This doesn't mean I don't hate it, but there's nothing extra-special awful that stands out. Certainly, nearly every single customer I meet is ignorant, and the chemicals have been giving me skin problems, but other than that, it's not so bad.

I write today for one reason: I hate Christmas.

Christmas brings out the very worst in people, and I've been catching a good dose of that at work. At a job where, though stupid, the customers are generally polite, I've had to deal with pissy, swearing customers more in the past week and a half than in the rest of my time there. My boyfriend compares me to a rabbit in temperament, and I get anxious quickly, so dealing with customer intimidation is an issue for me. Three times have customers felt the need to drop the F-bomb at me or someone else, and so I have to ask: how do you deal with customers who feel the need to swear?

Xmas2009 011The first time, it wasn't even remotely my fault. A manager told a customer we would have a certain item the next day, but the item sold. Why no, the manager didn't put it on hold for him or anything. Yes, my manager was wrong. No excuse for the guy to go off with, "You've gotta be fucking kidding me!"

The second time, well, this one may have been on me. Our live animal return policy is that you need to have the animal, whether alive or dead, (and the contract you received with the animal, except for fish which don't get a contract) and the receipt.

A man comes in with three fish he purchased that seem to have a skin fungus, and he's already in a foul mood about it, saying we sold him "rotten fish."

Xmas2009 180

My coworker and I are trying to deal with him, but he says he doesn't have one of the receipts for the fish. We look at the receipt he does have- three fish listed. We look at the three fish- they seem to match the ones on the receipt.

Confused, I ask the man, "Okay, where's the fish you don't have a receipt for?"

He replied, "I'm telling you, I don't have the receipt!"

This quickly devolves. To quote Full Metal Jacket, "What we have here is a failure to communicate." He gets it in his head that I'm refusing to do the return, and finally explodes with, "Bitch, it's a fuckin' dollar!"

Every word I say in attempts to explain end with, "It's a fuckin' dollar!"

This guy is loud, so the manager has heard him and approaches. As the man tries to explain what's happening, I offer the manager my side of the story, only to be cut off with, "Fucking bitch, I'm talking to him!"

That's about when I walked away. The manager gets his situation worked out (after threatening to kick the guy out of the store, but not following through) and the guy apologizes before he leaves, but it doesn't change the fact.

Xmas2009 114

Last, it was a lady and her six or seven year old son. It's past nine on a Tuesday night, and she's letting the kid pick a fish for his fishbowl. He doesn't like the bettas (which are the only fish who can live in a fishbowl. No. The only ones. Nothing else will survive. Nobody listens to me when I say this.) She is clearly impatient with him, and finally says, "Hurry the fuck up! I've got to get somewhere!"

Was it aimed at me? No. But I'm a teacher at heart, and I can't stand to see kids treated like that. I find the guts to say, "Ma'am, that kind of language is inappropriate, I'm going to have to ask you to refrain."

She looks at me and says, "I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to my son. MY son."

I can only fire back, "Yeah, but still." (Oh, insufferable staircase wit!) Listen, lady, I'm not trying to parent your child, but the fact is that she wouldn't be happy if he started repeating it. (Also, where could she possibly have to be past nine on a weeknight?)

So, I posit this question- what is the appropriate way to handle a customer swearing?

Peace, love, and candy,

--672

Comments

CHP

"If you don't refrain from using that disrespectful language, I'm going to walk away and you can either come find me when you're ready to speak like an adult, or go find my manager."

Sales Agent Guy

We have a rule that if a customer is using profanity or inappropriate language towards us, we have the right to ask them to stop. As for cursing in general, while we can ask them to stop, it's not advised unless they're being loud or obviously annoying other people.

Unfortunately, I don't believe we have the authority to kick people out, but we can get a supervisor to do so.

Still, this woman is going to be wondering where her son learned his new words without considering it herself...

Dee

Well, I think if someone is swearing in general, and that's just their character, then I could overlook that. If someone, however, calls me personally a name, like bitch, then it's over. He's out of the store. I tell my manager he is being verbally abusive and refuse to serve him. Call a dollar a "fuckin' dollar," but DON'T call me a "fuckin' bitch!"

LucyTheMagicka

Cursing is not part of a normal conversation. Of course it always depends on a situation, but in general a cursing customer is an aggressive customer and should be treated as such. So ask them to calm down and maybe refuse service until they cough up a sentence without bad words.

ScanGunMonkey

I can understand swearing. I have the foulest mouth this side of Uncle Sam's Misguided Children and their delightful teachers in Basic. However...when I go shopping...even if there's something just so fucking frustrating happening at the store, even if, heaven forbid, it's the store's fault...I can understand, and did before I ever worked retail ever, that it's not the wage-slave's fault. It just isn't. And even if it is...there's no reason to be so childish as to devolve into, basically, "no, YOUR face is stupid!" My granddad says all the time that profanity is the crutch of the inarticulate. I tend to disagree, in that it's an excellent release-valve for those of us who have nasty tempers...but those of use with them either learn to release that aggression in private, or we lose the right to get pissy if someone slaps us for being idiots. :D Merry slapping, kids.

Deathcomes4u

Well, see, in Australia, we're a fair bit less conservative on the swears.
We don't mind if a customers is cursing out something else, or about something else, because most Aussies will swear in a fairly light hearted manner about anything, but when I personally get sworn at...
Well, that's another matter entirely.
Generally i'll take the high road and tell them politely where they can shove it, but without a smile.
If they keep at it, thwir swearing is my liscence to swear right back, and I am SO not afraid to use the F-word as light toned as I can, just to add a note of sarcasm.
I was called a fucking bitch once for not having some guy's banana bread ready, in a rush, in under 1 minute, while baristing.
I told him HE could get fucked, and my manager didn't mind since the guy was way out of line anyhow.

WMDKitty

Oh NO. Someone said "fuck". Call the fucking National Guard, it's a fucking EMERGENCY.

Seriously, if you're not mature enough to be able to handle adults using adult language, you probably shouldn't be in retail. Please grow up.

Queenofcrows

I too am foulmouthed as a farmer, but believe that people -- especially strangers -- should be treated with basic respect including decent language. There's a difference between, say, cussing when you stub your toe or realize your wallet has been misplaced, and swearing at someone.

The line I keep in my back pocket is simply a calmly-stated:
"Please don't use that language in my store."

This line takes control of the situation and puts you in a position of authority by implying that they are a guest in your store, while showing the customer you're willing to treat them with with respect if they are willing to do the same for you. All you're doing is making a simple, clear request.

Should they disrespect your request for them to refrain from verbally abusing you, pull out the big guns -- call a manager, or refuse to serve them, or kick them out, or just treat them like crap.

College Fried Wench

My problem isn't the swearing, it's the general aggression and disrespect toward her child. I mean, I'll tell my friends jokingly to "hurry the fuck up, would you?" if we're dragging a bit behind, but your kid? Bitch, what the fuck is wrong with you? You wanna swear at the thing that fell on your foot, at a situation being unfair, fine. You swear at me, I get to swear right the fuck back. Don't start swearing at your kid that is defenseless due to your authority and the fact you'll probably beat him if he had the "audacity" to do that to you.

Cunt.

bbbeans

I live in the bible belt of NC. Of course we swear and when I'm alone I curse like a sailor. Or around my family or close friends I'll swear as appropriate. However, in a public places like a store and towards children or elders I would not swear. I can't say I haven't let one slip when around my niece but its never been in a derogatory manner. If I was in that situation in public with the lady who was rude to her child, I would probably feel bad about it but be too shy to say anything or I would worry too much about offending anyone.

LabRat

Yeah, hazard of the trade, unfortunately. I myself can swear like a trucker, though I have never cursed at someone in retail just doing their job, let alone become aggressive with them.

While I have on occasion accidentally cursed in front of my girls (Who I have spoken to about not repeating my mistakes), it is not okay for parents to curse directly at their children in that way. She only has herself to blame when the child begins using the words himself. He just a kid!

There isn't much you can do besides what you did (though I do like CHP's prepared words of wisdom), at least if your place of work doesn't give you the authority to do more. I feel the only advice I can give is to hold on and to get thicker skin. Just as the sun rises, there will be crusties who curse. If I had a nickel for every student who cursed at me, I could pay off me and my siblings school loans and tuition. You just gotta remember that at the end of the day, it really is nothing personal. They don't know you and never will, so don't let a few cheap words get to you. Good luck, 672.

The Craft Master

I believe that people should be expected to use some kind of restraint in public. Now we all work retail so of course we know that just doesn't happen, but from the moment I had a woman cuss up a storm around me and at me I made it my policy that you swear I'm done with you until you stop. I realize some people think it's no big deal but there are people who are offended by it. Keep the potty mouth at home. That is all.

Caramello Koala

I once asked my boss about this, and he said his policy was if we overheard a customer swearing, we couldn't really ask them to stop unless another customer complained about them. Of course if they swore at me I'd take it upon myself to do something about it..! In a cafe you can't really hear individual conversations anyway, unless someone is being particularly obnoxious.

AmigaTech

"To quote Full Metal Jacket, "What we have here is a failure to communicate.""

Strictly pedantic here, but that's not where that quote originally came from.

--AT

AmigaTech

I would like to add also that I said, forcefully, and I quote, "Shit!" in front of my mother once, but in my defense I was in the process of doing dramatic things with an automobile. Proceeding normally might well have done both of us serious injury, but Mum and car and I got away without a scratch.

No thanks nor respect to the inconceivable conehead who came to a complete stop on the highway (in lanes!!)

--AT

Bobo

There are no bad words only bad intentions. Kevin Smith said that but I'm not sure if he came up with it. In the USA where I live we have freedom of speech so provided they are not verbally abusing you, then just fuck right off with your holier than thou attitudes. That's right all you whiny ass bitches complaining about people swearing fuck you. Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck

mick waukee

"What we have here is failure to communicate"
Strother Martin... "Cool Hand Luke"

mick waukee

sheesh. my "bad"

"What we've got here is failure to communicate"

Name

Hey is this serious?

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Seriously, you're questioning that she might have somewhere to go after 9pm on a weeknight?

ProFISHional

I'll have to respectfully disagree with you about bettas being the only fish to survive in bowls. If you care for the bowl properly, other fish can thrive in one. I had a goldfish in a bowl for 18 years.

It is a good policy advice to give to the casual (or lazy) fish owner, however.

ProFISHional

policy/advice*

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