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March 2012
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Bad Parent Encounter At Porn Store

PORNSTOREFrom Your friendly neighborhood porn clerk:

well guys I have another story from my adult store of yet another parenting fail.

We had an angry father call us last night because his son used a fake ID to get into the store and purchase products.

Instead of being angry that his son, 1) had a fake ID number and 2), illegally went into our store, and number 3) purchased items he knew he was not legally supposed to purchase.

He was angry that we wouldn't let him return his purchases, and that we let him into the store.

If that was my kid I would have taken the ID, thrown away/destroyed his purchase so he's out the money and grounded his dumb-ass. We offered to call the cops if he wanted to have his son arrested for using a fake ID, but he didn't want to do that for some reason and hung up on us.

One other thing I have to add:

Why on earth do so many people think we would have a public bathroom in our store?

I've had so many people get upset at me when I tell them there is no bathroom. There is no way I'd be cleaning up or even using a public bathroom at a porn store without at least a 20 dollar raise. 

--Your friendly neighborhood porn clerk

Horrible Hellspawn Boy Gets Told by Intelligent Little Girl

HeavenspawnThe Last Archimedean again.

Earlier today I was doing some shopping for a few items I really needed at my local grocery store.

I'm waiting in line behind a frazzled mom and her devil-child.

He's about 11 or 12 and has been fighting his mom the whole time as she's trying to get him to behave.

Earlier as I was browsing the aisles, on 3 separate occasions I saw this child throw a fit when his mom refused to buy an item he wanted. Twice he tried to snatch an item out of her hands as she was putting it back on the shelf and telling him she wasn't going to buy it.

So he reaches over and grabs two candy bars. The mom says firmly, "Only healthy food in the house. And you're way too old to be throwing a fit. You *know* the rules, we don't eat junk" as she wrenches them out of his hands and puts them back.

Then he completely loses it and SLUGS her, hard. She grabs his wrists to restrain him and he starts kicking her and screaming in rage, a full out tantrum like you'd see a 3 year old throw.

"I hate you, Mom! You never let me have anything! Why won't you buy a bag of Oreos? RAWWWRRR RAGE!" [I cleaned up the cursing, but he was throwing in a few expletives I hadn't heard since my time in the Navy.]

Skullies 3aSuddenly, a sweet little girl who had to be about 8 or 9, who had been standing in line with HER mom directly behind me, glides over and taps the raging monster on the shoulder.

He stops screaming at his mom long enough to snap, "What the [expletive] do you want, b****?"

She gives him an angelic smile and says in a very sad tone, "You make me ashamed to be a kid. Please don't give us a bad name."

Then she returns to her mom.

The raging demon-child was so stunned, he shut up. He didn't say another word from that point until he and his healthy-living mom walked out the door.

Hooray for that little girl!

She deserves some sort of award.

May all your customers be sweet.  

-- TLA