'I just wish I’d been able to use one of the kickass come-backs I came up with literally minutes after the event. So many great responses came to mind, but all too late!'

Got to love the French. They call this "l'esprit d'escalier", or 'staircase wit', because this is when you've thought of the perfect comeback to a comment as you're going down the staircase, having just left.

"It's too bad that there are some conditions that can't be treated, ma'am."

And then walk away, leaving her wondering what condition you were talking about.

: / I will never understand this sort of rationality. Maybe I am a weird woman but I actually LIKE people that had differentiations like this. My fiance`, for example, has a slightly deformed chest. His ribs just sit at an odd angle, giving him a little divet right in his mid sternum but I LOVE it (it is snuggly : ) ) plus I have seen girls that have cute gaps and little tweaks and thought, "If I could get away with kissing her right on the mouth and running for my life, I might just do it!"

Of course, I am no model. I am a larger woman because of my hyperactive thyroid disorder. I do not eat much but I am content. Sure, it hurts when people stare or comment but overall it's just affirmation that they are so insecure about themselves that they cannot leave well enough alone. I shudder to think how much the woman from this story had "done".

Funny your story should be about that, because I saw your picture first and was thinking that you are probably very pretty behind that book.

Had a customer tell my very fair skinned, redheaded coworker that she needed to see someone about her freckles. " There is nothing cute about them, and you're going to die of cancer." This wad a few days after another crusty, mentioned that another coworker had gained to much weight, and really shouldn't wear such gaudy headbands, "they just don't suit your body"

Shame my snapback would be...

Sure I'd get the fix in a heartbeat, if you foot the bill.

Hoo boy do I feel where you're coming from.

I've worn wrist braces at work for over a decade now and I'd say on average, for every 8 hours I work in the public eye about one to three folks feel they have the right to make Helpful Comments or share their Great Medical Knowledge with me. I'm cool with folks who think they have similar medical problems asking where I got my braces or whether they help, but those who think they're 'helping me'? Can bite me.

Just because you're in a subservient position (customer service industry) doesn't mean the customer has the right to inquire about your personal private life *including any visible physical conditions*. Sure, I can see someone making one quiet suggestion or asking one respectful question, but as soon as they got even the vaguest hint that you weren't interested in discussing the subject with them, they should back the freck off and change the subject. I don't think such people would be inclined to approach a fellow customer or a stranger at a coffeeshop and comment on their unique jaw or wrist braces or goofy leg or what have you -- but somehow it's okay to corner someone while they're at work in an industry where being polite and cooperative with the customer is an enforced standard.

Years of frustration with meddling-yet-wellmeaning custys have resulted in me memorizing only one standard comeback line:
"I don't feel comfortable discussing my private medical concerns with a stranger" followed immediately by some trite work-related comment to get the conversation back on track. Eg:
"I don't feel comfortable discussing my private medical concerns with a stranger. Will you be paying by cash, debit, or credit card?" or
"I don't feel comfortable discussing my private medical concerns with a stranger. You should check out our New Arrivals section; we just got a great shipment in on Tuesday" or
"I don't feel comfortable discussing my private medical concerns with a stranger. How's your croissant? Shall I top up your coffee?"

Once you've stated your personal boundary, they CANNOT continue that line of conversation without getting into 'harrassment' territory.

In the meantime, if said Rude Biatch comes in again, please do pass along my number to her so she can call me and I'll give her a piece of your -- er, my -- mind. 1-800- BITE MEH.

My first thought was "Sure thing scarecrow, lets go see the wizard and maybe he'll give you a brain too!". Pretty sure you'd get fired for that but it might be worth it.

^Well see, that's why it's so inconvenient that she said this stuff in a retail setting. Socially, she needed to be taught that she was not helping, and that, even though she THINKS it's being kind, it's only self-serving of her to share her own problems with someone she thought would want to hear about it.

I'm curious about the purple thing = lesbianism. I'm a straight woman who adores purple and that's because I look damn good in it.

As for the rest - geez, I thought it was bad/annoying when the various spa and makeup girls came into the library and offered me eyebrow dying, makeovers, and anti-acne facials because "You're so nice to me I want to do something nice for you." (At least the health club people who come in don't offer me free gym memberships. I don't think I could handle it if they started bringing up my weight.)

You could just tell her what my boss finally told me to say - we're not allowed to accept things like that from customers. (Including doctor referrals.) It's against policy and could mean disciplinary action.

Aww, thanks for the support guys! =') She hasn't come back, although her husband did once. I'm not sure I could pick just one come-back, there are so many good ones. And I'm so sorry to any of you all who have had to deal with similar remarks...it sucks so much.

@ Chicajojobe and Jami: Purple is sort of associated with queer activism, much like rainbows, although less well-known. Plus it's the symbolic color for spirit day. Obviously it doesn't HAVE to stand for anything queer and everyone can love it because purple is awesome in general! It's just sometimes associated with that group, and one never knows how paranoid some bigots might be.

@ BlaqueKatt: I've got to say, I grinned so much at your "tiger stripes!" I love that!

@ Dhmap: I do like to think she had good intentions and isn't a deliberately cruel person...but as others said, I just don't think it's appropriate to bring it up to a stranger. =/ Especially one who is pinned behind the counter and unable to escape since I'm obligated to help and not argue with customers. Good intentions don't change the fact that her words could really hurt someone more sensitive. Hell, if she'd said that to me a few years ago, it would have really hurt me. The thought of her rudeness hurting someone else actually pisses me off more than her saying something to me.

@ Madrias: And you just know the same people who claim that you're faking it would act like little babies if it were them. I've learned not to judge people who park in the handicapped spot or use the carts to get around the store. Just because they don't have a visible handicap, doesn't mean they don't have one. Some people are just insensitive and stupid, but don't realize it because they think they're helping, and no one is willing (or able) to tell them that their "advice" is doing more harm than good.

@BookAce,
Now that you mention it, you brought back a memory for me from middle school. I had a scrunchie that I was carrying on my wrist. This guy I knew who was a real douche saw it declared "That's an international gay symbol!"
My reaction was, naturally, "WTF??" but to everyone around who overheard (ie: everyone) was apparently instantly convinced and the gossip of the day was that Chica was wearing a purple wrist band, omg she's GAAAAAY!
The weirdest part was the scrunchie wasn't even purple it was navy blue.
Thankfully people do grow out of crap like that, but I can imagine having to deal with stuff like that all your life might make you a little paranoid.
I get it now.

I'm surprised so many people seem not to know about the purple thing. I remember it because they always said that the purple Teletubby, Tinky Winky, was gay because he was purple (and carried a purse around).

However I have just realized that my mother's favorite colors are both purple and rainbow... and she sleeps in a closet... But I'm pretty sure she isn't gay.

Like 99% sure.

I love purple (it's my favorite colour) and I love rainbows. I dunno, I kind of like to think colours and rainbows belong to everybody. But then, I don't like associations much. Like you wear/do X so you must be Y. Everyone is different and likes different things.
Also, I'm sure you have nothing to be ashamed of, and that your face is amazing. The world would be boring if everyone looked the same!

Thanks for the advise. It will help me a lot actually