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March 2013
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May 2013

Cree Speaking Hags Get Told, And Screaming Off Key Gives An Update On Grabby McPervert

Carolanne diveHello! It's Screaming Off Key. I went to my store manager and my DM. The result was quick: Grabby McPervert lost his status as a manager and was put on probation.

He proceeded to launch several complaints against me, claiming I wasn't doing my job, leaving things undone and other such things. So in order to investigate the claims the DM looked through our camera footage and found that he couldn't be seen in the store at all during times he was scheduled during the same hours as me. People started complaining that he was lazy, wasn't doing anything etc, and he was fired. I've been promoted to crew trainer, and my pay was raised .75 cents woop woop!

Now for a bit of a story. I work in a town that's further north. We get a lot of the natives from reserves who come through, and let me put out there that I'm a LOT more than half blood first nations. My great grandmother could only speak my language, Cree. I can understand it completely and almost speak it fluently.

Now. I shall start the story.

An older woman came through with what I'll assume was her daughter. I'm put on counter a lot because people describe me as bouncy, bubbly and extremely polite. I was being my usual polite self and helped the customer to figure out our menu. After ten minutes of struggle, we didn't manage to get something down. They asked me to give them a minute, and I did so.

And what does she do? She proceeds to speak in Cree to the younger woman saying "I am so tired of little white bitches like this one."


I proceeded to then and there cancel the order, and ask them to leave. The younger one proceeded to accuse me of discrimination and asked for a manager. I calmly called my favourite manager, who I'll call Fairy Bottom.

Fairy Bottom: Hello ma'am. What's the problem today.

Younger Cree Lady: Your employee refuses to serve us because we are Cree.

Fairy Bottom: And what brings you to that conclusion ma'am?

Carolanne oh reallyYounger Cree Lady: She was being rude to us when we got in and when we started talking to each other in Cree, she refused to serve us.

Fairy Bottom: (Turned to me now) Is this true Screaming Off Key?

Me: No, when they first came in I helped them as much as possible and explained the menu items. I did not refuse to serve them until the older one called me a bitch in Cree.

At this point both women became red in the face and started spluttering.

Older Cree Lady: And how would YOU know what I said?

Which is when I replied "Tansikatintin." (Translation: What do you think?)

After that, they spluttered some more and left of their own accord, while Fairy Bottom sent me on a fifteen.

People irk me.

--Screaming Off Key

Two Tales: The Rude Ass Custy And The Sweet, Sweet Revenge

Carolanne arghHey everyone,

Banja with two quick stories. The first takes place as a customer comes through my line with a large bag of dog food. She lifts it out of her cart and asks "Do you want me to slide it over the scanner?"

I smile and tell her sure, and she does so.

She goes to lift the bag back into her cart, so I put my hands on the bag to help her get if off the counter, and she asks "Are you pregnant?"


I looked her in the eye, and said "No."

...she got really quiet for the rest of the transaction.

RHU, I'm 5'3" and about 154, but I've been trying to lose weight and that really stung. I don't think I look even moderately pregnant...(*sigh*)


Carolanne smileThe other story needs a little explanation. There's a new girl at my store who is ALWAYS whining to go home early, no matter what shift she works or how short it is. On this particular day, she came in at 11, was scheduled to go home at 7, and spent the whole day whining about it because two of her friends had plans after work and she was being 'left out' because she was 'stuck' there.

So she complained to the manager at 2, asking if she could leave early, and the manager told her she'd have to ask the closing manager that night.

Five minutes later, the owner comes out of the office, strolls up to the whiner, and says, "Hey, thanks for offering to stay until nine tonight! I really appreciate the help, you know!"

The look on her face was PRICELESS. Her face scrunched up and she let out this mournful "WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!"

I don't know if the owner heard her whining and just decided to have some fun or what, but it cracked me up. So maybe it's not nice to laugh at my fellow retail workers, but after a full day of hearing her complaints, it cheered me slightly. My only disappointment was that she didn't actually have to stay. He was just messing with her. 

May all your coworkers finish their shifts when possible,