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March 2013
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May 2013

TLA Wintesses a Crusty And His Miracle Of A Wife

The last archemedianThe Last Archimedean with an odd experience...

It's late in the evening, and I stop at my local fast-food place for a little something. It's about half an hour before the walk-in part of the restaurant is shut down [the drive through is open 24 hours], and the place is empty except for me, the employees, and a married couple [probably in their 40s] who walked in about 10 seconds before I did. They order. I order, Their food comes out, and the husband reaches for the tray.

Husband: "This isn't what I ordered!" [The cashier, a teenage girl, looks up.] "You stupid little bitch! Can't you get a simple --"

[The wife has walked over to see what the problem is. She SLAPS her husband across the face, HARD. I swear it echoed in the store. He instantly stops talking.]

Wife: "I can't take you anywhere! This is exactly what you ordered."

Husband: "But --"

Wife: "I heard you not five minutes ago order [order]. That's what this is right here [pointing], you stupid fucking baboon!"

Husband: "I --"

Wife: "Shut the fuck up before I decide to divorce your stupid, lazy, no-good ass!"

Husband [meekly]: "Yes, dear."

The wife GRABS the back of the husband's shirt and lifts him off the ground, shoving him against the counter. "Apologize to her."

Husband [even more meekly]: "I'm sorry, miss. I shouldn't have called you a stupid bitch."

[He pays for the food.]

Wife: "Now take the tray to the table, sit down and shut up. And don't make a damn mess when you eat, either!"

[My order is ready.]

Me [to cashier]: "Did that really just happen?"

May all your customers be sane...

--The Last Archimedean

Queer Geek's Update on Hell at The Big Fancy

QUEERGEEKRecently a close friend and coworker of mine e-mailed me about what was going on with her at her retail hell. Now if you’ve been following my posts, you know that me and Freeman Hall are former slaves freed from the oppression of The Big Fancy plantation.  

When the corporate wheel decided to get rid of my department, my friend got caught behind and got transitioned into a ridiculous department that made it impossible to meet company expectations especially in this difficult economy.

Well finally they let her go and she contacted me with concern of what her next strategy would be and all I told her is to file unemployment and try to pound the pavement looking for job.  Face it!  The economy sucks and even fast food places are being extra picky about who they hire in this competitive market.   

Since kicking me out of Big Fancy (I’d like to say that I was asked to leave), I found out that my vacant position remains cursed since my departure.  

From what my friend revealed to me, everyone they hired to replace me turned out to be complete flakes.  The first got fired for stealing money from the till, the second for unprofessionalism, and the last person would never show up for work.  Add to that, the constant budget cuts and pretty much every department manager that had been with Big Fancy a long time was let go and replaced with a revolving door of naïve slaves.

Now comes word that the all multiple stores in the region are shutting their corporate offices in my city and moving them up north for budget reasons.  This means that at least 50 some employees are out of job and anyone wanting a position in any of the left over Big Fancy stores are going to have to compete for positions within the area so some poor slave is going to left out in the cold.  Think of it as a lottery where the losers get a one way ticket to the unemployment line while the lucky ones get the opportunity to be exploited slaves in the process.  So much for employee loyalty!

In the end, it’s the company that suffers.  It turns out that the so called family Big Fancy business is no longer owned or controlled by the original Mr. Lou and his descendants.   It’s made up of a pair of shareholders and Board of Directors who dictate these ridiculous changes with the façade of being the company recognized for their outstanding customer service.  So with each stupid Big Fancy shopping bag that I see and their logo playing on commercial ads, I cringe with the knowledge that I know the truth.  Big Fancy sucks and that no one should ever shop with their company!

--Queer Geek


BF3From Freddy:

It's so true. With their unforgivable and ridiculous expectations, I watched The Big Fancy ruin the lives of many quality workers. I also wittnessed long-time managers with amazing track records lose their positions to younger, lower paid newbies because Big Fancy felt the old timers were making fifty cents more an hour too much. And now with the adancement of technology, these humanless corporations like The Big Fancy have new excuses and easier ways to replace hard-working people who have given their souls to the company.

To read more hellacious but funny tales about this company I call a Wolf in Designer Clothes, check out my new book "Return To The Big Fancy," and its predessor "Retail Hell."


What is the worst thing you have seen your company do to an employee?



LaughingBarista And The Dumbass Coworker Brigade

Call center hell1Hi y'all! LaughingBarista here after a long hiatus (I swear, between work and school I barely have time to relax) to share with you a story about my idiotic coworkers.

I still work at the call center for the famous cable company I mentioned in my last post, and while I thought my coworkers at DD's were the dumbest people I had ever met, I was so very wrong. Instead of a longer story, I'd like to share some of the stupider things that have happened there so you all can have a quick laugh at the expense of my sanity:

1. I send out an email stating I will be unavailable until further notice due to managerial duties. Not even five minutes later I get a response to that very email, asking if I'm available. This happened two days in a row with the same representative. I had to actually respond and say "I'm sorry, but please read the below email. I will be unavailable until further notice.

2. We use different programs which require logins with usernames and passwords. Sometimes reps lock them out, and I must reset them. One day (actually, the same rep as in the previous number) needed a login reset. I give him the new password, and he responds it is not working. He states that he kept trying the old password and not the one I provided him. I had to take, no joke, about five minutes to explain why the old password did not work and why putting in that password locked out the account.

Carolanne hyuck3. Representatives do not understand why customers get angry at them with the representative says, in a snotty tone, "Well if you let me talk for once maybe I could help you..."

4. Similar to number one, I send out emails that I am unavailable and representatives still call my phone nonstop. They then email me and ask why I am not answering my phone. When I forward the email sent out to them, they say "Oh, I didn't realize that meant now" or "I didn't see that." They get about ten emails a day, and you seriously didn't see that one email? Oh, and I get about 2,000 emails a day, and they get upset if I miss one of their emails.

5. I work part-time and leave at noon daily (due to my school schedule--I have had this schedule since I started working here over a year ago) and send out emails saying so. Sometimes I leave a little later, around 12:10 or so, and if someone calls I will answer saying I can no longer assist due to the time. They always ask why and ask if I can just squeeze one thing in for them. I will always respond no. You don't see me asking you to stay late to squeeze in one or two more calls, do you? Concurrently, I am off on Fridays and the whole office is aware of this (and again, I send out an email on Thursday stating this) and yet, representatives still email me on Friday for assistance with a myriad of things.

I just can't with these idiots.

I hope you got some sort of laugh from these!