Today we are paying a visit to the most pompous of Custies; that snobby, raucous, primitive little creature that parades about with it's little pointed nose stuck high in the air so that it can act out the delusion that all other beings in the world must be looked down upon. These creatures feel that everything in the world owes them a living, and don't take kindly to scientists proving that the world does not in fact revolve around them. Have you guessed the identity of this walking Napoleon Complex? You guessed right! It's the Entitled Crusty!
Species: entitled crusty
Entitled Crustys are difficult to identify if you merely go by their plumage. They can be dazzling and colorful, or drab in color with ratty looking clothes. They can wear all sorts of camouflage in order to look less threatening or to disguise their intentions. Sometimes even their behavior can be misleading: they will appear kind and harmless in the beginning on the interaction.
In a general sense, watch for the ones who huff and puff and shift restlessly at having to stand in a long line. Watch for the ones that march up to a coworker and begin dispensing orders instead of requesting help. Watch for the ones that claim to have spent XX amount in your store, as though it's some sort of banking system of Karma that should automatically dispense rewards upon reaching a milestone.
Entitled Crustys are firm believers in the mistaken creed, "The customer is always right!" It is like their penis religion, if you think about it. They have it, they're proud of it, they whip it out in public and wave it around, and they will put a supreme effort into shoving this creed down a Retail Slave's throat. They believe so wholeheartedly in this creed that they will immediately leap on the offensive if this creed even remotely becomes challenged.
In order to appease this creature, Retail Slaves will be expected to bend over backwards for this beast, even if it would mean an immediate reprimand or even termination for the Slave. It doesn't matter how extravagant the demand is. It doesn't matter how ridiculous demand is. It doesn't matter whether the system will allow the demand to be fulfilled. It does not matter that the demand would cost the company money in order to fulfill. If an Entitled Crusty demands it, you had better sodding well MAKE it happen even if it means shooting yourself in the head, climbing up to Heaven and bitch slapping God until he concedes to obey them. They believe that even if this is impossible, you had better MAKE it possible anyway.
Understandably such demands are often refused, and the Entitled Crusty will immediately shape shift into a Bitch or Douchebag. More upon these creatures in another lesson.
It is always a good idea to hone your ability to detect the hidden nature of the Crustys you may encounter. Experienced Crustologists can look at a store full of Customers, Custys and Crustys and pick out the troublesome ones at a glance. Listen to this inner warning system. It can allow you to brace yourself for trouble.
Homework: Think of times when you were ambushed by an Entitled Crusty and the ridiculous demands that he or she gave. Please share it with the class.