New Phrases Can Work As A Two Way Translation: Part Two
Even The Sign Is Excited By The Deal

Hellspawn Leaves Butt Nuggets Right In The Middle Of An Aisle

Skullies eewwFrom: Roxie

One day when I was working in the Music Dept. at the Barf and Hellhole (I'm sure you can figure out what store I really mean) some fucking kid, who was not a toddler (which makes it more understandable, but still wrong), but was probably 9 or 10 years old, decided to poop on the floor in one of the aisles in between DVD and CD racks.

There was no explanation whatsoever for his behavior, nor did we get one, and after the kid was gone, we all avoided that area of the Dept. like the plague. No one wanted to clean it up, not even the managers, but two of them eventually got stuck with the job.

At first, all they did was block off the poop area so customers couldn't go over, then after what seemed like a really long time they finally cleaned it up. I had to keep telling customers not to go over there because there was poop, which was real fun. And then after the managers cleaned it up, my co-workers and I still didn't want to go over there, and I avoided that area for the rest of the day, since thinking about what happened over there made me cringe.

It amazes me how disgusting people can be, that's for sure!




It could have been worse. One time in my hometown, a kid took a shit in the movie theater.

I slipped in it and nearly fell on it.

I was wearing sandals.

Sales Agent Guy

Seriously, a kid just drops his drawers and leaves a shit in the middle of a store? What the fuck?!


My grandparents passed down the tale of their first time out at a banquet facility with new friends decades ago. As soon as they were seated, everyone noticed a foul odor. Comically, each was afraid to acknowledge the smell, thinking perhaps another had simply badly farted. As they uncomfortably shifted in their seats, the scent got simply too overwhelming to ignore. Finally, someone peeked under the table to discover a scattering of butt nuggets, a few of which had been crushed in the preceding "uncomfortable shifting". My grandfather said their exit from the restaurant was as fast as if someone had shouted, "Fire!"
In this case, being well before the prevelance of people bringing young children out to dinner with them, it was assumed the nuggets were deposited by an elderly patron with loose-fitting underwear. Really not looking forward to aging myself.....

The Singing Library Clerk

Wonder if that was my psycho step-nephew. He eats nothing but noodles and french fries and when he gets constipated his mom gives him Miralax. He's about ten, almost 11, and will poop anywhere, any time, and his mom leaves it for others to clean up. He even did this at Disneyland and often at school.

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