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Things You Didn't Know About Organic Food Hell!

DumbcustyaFrom: Organic Hell

To: Everyone who has ever shopped at an organic market

  • Not every animal can get to enjoy nutrients from grass. Chickens and pigs cannot sustain themselves on grass alone!
  • I don't know when "x" is going on sale. Just because "x" went on sale this time last year, does not mean it will again.
  • Everyone in [big name health food market] is not a vegan.
  • There are no vegan products in the meat department.
  • Please don't call and ask for prices for everything in a fresh case, or for long lists of things you don't really care about.
  • Pork has fat. Please do not ask for fat free "x" pork product.
  • Bacon has some sugar.
  • Some of the sausages made in house might contain gluten.
  • Everything doesn't need to be organic to be good for you.
  • There is no such thing as organic salt or ice.
  • Tofu bacon is a lie.
  • For a tender roast, it needs to have some fat.
  • If you are going to put down 100 bucks for a roast, please don't ask us for step by step cooking instructions. Recipes online are your friend. Libraries are still around.
  • All fat is not the devil.
  • Duck has natural occurring trans fat.
  • Don't complain about what little fat there is on a chicken. It will cook off.
  • Don't hog all the employees attention. Other costumers might need help too.
  • Natural food spoils. Don't like it? Then go to Walmart and eat meat that has been stuffed full of God knows what, and will last you till the zombie apocalypse, or until you understand what I wrote in the first sentence.
  • Walmart: just don't bring up how things are cheaper there.
  • And lastly, we run out of things just like everyone else.




Amen to that! I haven't worked in an organic food store, but I shop there often and have heard some... interesting conversations.


You know, I think one could argue that all ice and all salt is organic. At least, I've never heard of them being produced with hormones or chemical fertilizers.



By the food and diet industry definition of "organic" then yeah. Although, most would consider sea salt rather than iodized salt to be the "organic" or "healthier" salt.

By the scientific definition of organic, though, neither ice nor table salt are organic because they don't contain carbon. Of course, that means all fruit, vegetables, grains, and meat are no matter what chemicals have been used to grow and treat them.
So really it's a mess.

I shop at organic food stores all the time, but most of the time I know what I'm looking for and am not afraid to read labels, so I don't have to ask questions. I do feel sorry for the people who work in them and have to answer stupid questions like this.

Also, yes, so much to the tofu bacon is a lie!
In my organic food store I saw this product called Primal Jerky. I figured that meant it'd be sodium nitrate free, and possibly made from grass fed beef but nope, it was actually vegan and made of soy. I felt that name was so misleading.


On carrots:

"These are organic!"

"So what's an inorganic carrot made of then; stainless-steel?"

(Which is, technically, organic, as there's quite a bit of carbon in steel...)


Book Baby

I always laugh when someone tells me s/he eats only NATURAL foods. well, mercury is NATURAL--wanna eat some of that? LOL

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