The Best Response To a Customer Accusing You of Ruining Their Kid's Christmas
I just read a list of 28 things all holiday retailers are tired of hearing. The last one about ruining a parent's kid's Christmas really got to me.
This is what I'd like to say when someone says, "You're ruining my kid's Christmas!"
"Actually, I am not doing anything to ruin your child's Christmas. I am merely a person who handles sales of whatever merchandise we have here. I have no control over what happens with this merchandise, nor do I control who buys it. In fact, the only person ruining your kid's Christmas is you, since you did not have the common sense to try to find this item sooner. Now please refrain from using me as a scapegoat as to why Santa Claus* didn't bring your child the gift they wanted this year,OK?"
If only I could say that, but my tenure in the field would be terminated, and the agency would disavow any knowledge of my actions! Still, it's fun to think about saying.
--Sales Agent Guy
What would you like to say to a parent who accuses you of ruining their kids Christmas?
Posted by Freddy on Monday, December 15, 2014 | Permalink
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Comments (4)
"Yes, I (emphasized) am the one ruining your kid's Christmas. I (!) am the one who decided to wait until three weeks before Christmas to buy something extremely popular without putting in an order or asking a worker NICELY if they could possibly put one on hold for a few hours so I can pick it up after work. I (!) am the idiot who thinks yelling at a lowly worker, who has NO influence on what is being sold, how many we have, and barely even have the power to know ahead of time that there are hundreds of other children in the same city that want the same thing as my Fuck Trophy. Yes, I (!) am the SOLE reason why your kid's Christmas is gonna suck - not your fault, considering it has to life with such a bitch of a mom/dick of a dad."
Oh how I wish I was capable of saying that without stumbling over my words so easily... Or even the much better, shorter version of this.
"If you've got any complaints, call 1-800-Eat-A-Dick."
Posted by: Account Deleted | Monday, December 15, 2014 at 11:27 AM
"You know, we had that item on sale here about once a month for the last couple of seasons - maybe you ought to shop a tad earlier next year?"
Posted by: Bored at the Bookstore | Monday, December 15, 2014 at 01:57 PM
"Might I suggest you start using condoms. That way, you won't create any more children you can scapegoat for your own shortcomings. Have a nice day!"
Posted by: Fenian2153 | Monday, December 15, 2014 at 05:58 PM
Fantastic. I've finally managed to counteract the celebration of a religious holiday by inspiring you not to shop for gifts for your children until it's way too late to find said item within a thousand miles. Oh and I totally maxed out your credit card just so you couldn't buy it even if you found it. Have a happy happy holidays.
Posted by: Disconnected | Wednesday, December 17, 2014 at 01:51 AM