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RHU Pet Peeve And Revenge: Lunch Theft



RHU Pet Peeve: lunch samplers.

These people go around taking food from other people's lunches and sampling them. Dude, keep your dirty ass hands out of my food! So I, and my dad, took some creative measures.

Dad once stopped a lunch thief with a nice ham, cheese, mustard, and cardboard sandwich.

I've stopped them by adding spicy peppers to my food. I have no problem eating it, but most people tend to disagree with things containing Habanero or ghost peppers.






Many decades ago I accidentally stopped a lunch NAT. I had been keeping a jar of Goober Grape (basically a jar of peanut butter swirled with grape jelly) in the office fridge. Because I assumed I was the only one eating from my own jar, I simply ate Goober Grape directly from the jar using a spoon.

I ended up being out for a few days with the flu.

When I came back, I noticed that the jar was gone...evidently a NAT had taken it, and had most likely stolen a goodly amount of my flu virus.

What goes around, comes around...


Ahhhhhh, the pitfalls of coworkers being smart asses and consuming your food and beverages.

Adding the note, "I spit in this" didn't work. Because I came back to find a note, "I did too." Ahhh, one of my head cashiers at Home Depot, such a prankster. Needless to say, our department head was likewise a prankster, and our store manager liked me... so let's just say, the food swiping stopped.

Ditto with the Habanero and Bhut Jolokia/Ghost Pepper, Carolina Reaper, and Trinidad Moraga Scorpion peppers. Apparently much of the populace finds something at 2 million plus on the Scoville heat scale to be, well, "unappealing." And "inedible." Fools. Surprisingly I can handle it. Even more surprising, I find JALAPENOS "hotter" than the aforementioned peppers.

Hot peppers= the ONLY thing which stops a retail coworker/lunch thief in their tracks.

Bored at the Bookstore

How about a Tupperware container with a non-refrigerated-type sandwich in your tote in the locked locker or a lockable lunch carrier? Would at least make it more time-consuming for the lunch thief...


I've heard of the fireball special (hot peppers), extra enjoyment (spoiled food/ipecac), back enter (ex-lax), and the "Colorado special". Most people don't try due to assault charges.


Memaha, I've noticed that too. (Above statement is actually mine, posted when I was using an alternate name a while ago)

You go much past 300,000 Scoville units, 90% of the population turns their noses up at it. Push past 500k, and that 10% withers back to the die-hards. Break 1 million and you're generally safe to enjoy your food.

As for the use of hot peppers, I always stay within the realm of heat I can stand. Claim assault and I'll claim theft. After all, I would have eaten it. Peppers are about the only way to safely get back at thieves. Well, that, and just plain using food that's unappealing to others.


I do the extra enjoyment. That one is always a winner. Now we all know who the lunch thief is as they spend the next few days getting over food poisoning.

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Is this really a problem in most work places?



At every place I've ever worked save one, management has always warned us that somebody steals food. Maybe some places are better? But the only place that never stole my food was at Borders, and even then, they probably never raded me because I ate weird food (radishes, green olives etc).

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Huh. Weird. None of the places I worked to date ever had issues of food being stolen.


Yeah, it's common enough that it's a joke along the level of funny as 'what's the deal with airline food'.

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