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Crazy People Hell: Conspiracy Nut Doesn't Want Big Brother Stealing Her Identity Through A Fingerprint


Crazy custy hellGreetings humans. Or somethin'. Call me Plummie Newbie! (If you get the reference, goodie bags for you.)

So last year, I worked for Six Flags during their Fright Fest season, and that was a lot of fun. Surprisingly, it was an enjoyable job, though I just remembered one ridiculous encounter just before we closed one night.

I was a greeter, at the Front Gate, and that means I was the one that got abused when taking tickets and your biometric scan fucked up, or when I tried to tell custys where to go when they were doing memberships. This particular event that I will relay was when I was ticket scanner.

So it's literally dead except for the trove of people leaving, and up comes this meandering couple. So I smile, ask them to scan their cards, then their fingers. (Now, everyone who's been forced to deal with a biometric scanner at work knows it just measures the size of the finger, not the print, or we'd have to clean it after every person.)

I'll call the dude Reasonable Dude, and his chick Conspiracy Nut.

RD: *scans his card, and finger, it isn't working*

Me: Oh dear, try again please.

Carolanne derpRD: *tries again*

CN: *crossing her arms looking disapproving*

Me: I'm sorry, have you guys scanned your fingers with your card before?

RD: Nope.

CN: YOU EXPECT ME TO SCAN MY FINGER? OH NO. I am not letting you and the government have my finger print! You will try to use it to get my credit card, or steal my identity! No you MAY NOT HAVE MY FINGER PRINT AND I WILL NEVER SCAN MY FINGER HERE.

Me: *headdesk and points to our left* I have coworkers who will be able to help you over there. My apologies folks; have a wonderful night.

That's right folks, she actually believes Six Flags is funded by the Government (and that her finger print was connected to anything in the first place). I just couldn't believe that woman and had buried my face in my hands.

I relayed it for jokes the rest of the night.

Anyone else had conspiracy nuts? Please tell me I am not alone. xD

--Plummie Newbie




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Well when I recently got a new ID card, it did have the option of having my fingerprint... uh, imprinted into it, so if I do ever lose it, ownership can be easily found by giving my fingerprint and saying "My fingerprint, my ID, now gimme please". Though I think that's really the only reason for it.


Yep, that's exactly it. Six Flags got sick of people bitching about having to wait to get their picture taken, so they were like, "What's the newest technology for ID? FINGERPRINTS. Cool spy kids shit. A'ight. End meeting!"


working in the cellular industry... ALL THE TIME. people don't want to use the fingerprint scanners on their phones because "that's how they get you." meanwhile they can't remember their password for longer than 5 minutes... won't show ID to verify their account in order to make changes or have details disclosed to them... don't want the phones that can be "hacked" or have people "listen in on." it goes on and on and on and on and on.

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