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Religious Freaks: Passing Pamphlets After Closing


Jason crossFrom: Aquanautic

This isn't too horrible of a story but just one of those irritating pains in the butt.

So my store (department store that offers longer hours than almost anywhere else) was slow all day. We were far from making sales goals and they were sending people home. They schedule us half an hour after close if we're closing to give us time to count the registers and fold; sometimes we get out as soon as we can and skip folding. We were told to get everything done and leave at close.

This is all fine by me. My long distance boyfriend just came into town to see me for a few days and was waiting for me to get home from work in my apartment's parking lot.

It was a Sunday, which meant closing at 9pm. A few groups came in in the last 15 mins or so prior to close. I'd greet them as I was counting down all but one drawer. One was an elderly man (well into his 70s; dressed in a vest and windbreaker or something else slightly odd) with someone that I'm assuming was his son. They poke around through our clearance and a strike point that had a lot of men's accessories (hats, a few scarves, mixed in with shirts).

I ring the last customer in line up and wait for these two. Our final "We are now closed" message had played. The lights go down. They're still poking around without any palpable sense of urgency.

The store manager is frankly kind of a push over and says nothing to them. I want to wander over and ask if there's anything they're looking for in particular. I bite my tongue.

PET46They come over to my register at 9:05 with an armful of fedoras, asking for the prices of all of them. All are about $20, save for one on clearance for $2.80. They then ask why the rest aren't so cheap. I explain that it's clearance while the others are new stock. They decide to buy the clearance one.

The catch? Old guy wants to use a merchandise credit. Ok, fine... but it's not in his wallet, which he spends 5 minutes poking through. He sends son out to the car... and I'll have to let him in because our doors are locked at this point.

In the time that the son is out, the old man spreads a handful of religious pamphlets on my counter. He asks me if I read often. I answer that I do. He explains that he just found this series of pamphlets and loves them, then informs me that I can take any or all that I'd like. Honestly, this is more awkward than any other way he could've gone about it--I'm an atheist and I'm not interested in any, but if I say that, I'll get roped into a whole 'nother conversation. So I pick one at random and say it looks interesting, thanks, and give that customer service smile.

I let the son back in. All right, whatever, he's got in now in this massive briefcase, right?

Apparently no. It's nowhere to be found. Old guy makes some comment about how "He (the son) doesn't want a beautiful girl to just open the door for him, but to open her heart for Jesus."

At this point, I'm feeling both uncomfortable and irritated in equal measures. I just smile and ask if he'd like to use a different form of payment. Yeah, and he's got the store credit card.

I offer him another 20% off for using the store card. I try to run the card and it's been closed due to inactivity. Oh lord. Now he's got to search for his normal card, which he runs, which by some cosmic power, works.

I give him his receipt, bag the $2 hat and begin to count down my register. They finally shuffle out the door at 9:25.






What means 'Strike point'?

I expected this to end with them not buying anything, just being a long and protracted way of slopping Jeebus around...


Most of the time they tend to buy something, more or less to keep you from seeing them leave pamphlets all over the place.

Account Deleted

"Do you read a lot?"
Yes, I read BOOKS a lot. Not pamphlets. And if you continue trying to convert me, I will give you the comparison line between religion and penises.

Dayne Chastant

I thought the men were supposed to open doors for women, not the other way around...


When the guy doesn't have the key to the door because it's after hours, he can't. :P

Ian Miller

It should be legal to play "Closing Tome" at full volume over the loudspeakers while swatting at them with a broom.

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