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Classic Call Center Hell: Tale Of Two Nightmare Retail Hells

 

This story was originally posted on: March 27, 2011

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Call center 1Hey everyone! First time submitter here. You can call me FuckYouForCalling, as I've always wanted to answer the phone like that.

I've worked several jobs in Retail Hell, including movie theater cleaning, cashier, bagger, door to door sales, and now a call center. I have hundreds of crazy custy stories, but I'm going to start out by giving out 1st and 2nd place for the Who Fucking Raised You Awards. Because we all end up wondering way too often if our crustys were raised by wolves to think this shit is acceptable in civilized society.

Second Place is from when I was doing 3rd party door to door sales for a telecomm company. You can imagine how intense things can get when you are actually at the customer's house. Sigh.

RICH BITCH KICKS ME IN THE ASS. LITERALLY:

So I go up to a door for a custy who already has our internet, so I have their name, and knock on the door. His wife answers, a Tiny Asian Lady (TAL), with a Pomeranian in her hand. I do my bullshit intro and ask her how the services are working.

TAL: IT SUCKS! I HATE *COMPANY* RAWRAWRRAWR

ME (way too used to this): Wow okay what's wrong with the internet?

TAL: NOTHING!! I JUST HATE *COMPANY*!! YOU GUYS SUCK AND BLAHBLAHBLAH

Me: Well maybe I can get someone out to check on it if you tell me what's wrong. And maybe I can save you money. What are you doing for TV and phone?

(Yes I will still try to sell. Straight commission pay is a life or death scenario)

TAL: STOP TRYING TO SELL ME STUFF GRRARTGAHS

ME (losing patience): I'm not trying to sell you anything *lies*. I'm trying to help you.

TAL: HOW IS THAT GOING TO HELP?! RAWRRAWR I HATE YOUR INTERNET BLAHBLAH

(She continues to abuse me verbally for a few minutes while I just stand there like O_o)

Hag 1ME (finally losing it): ARE YOU GOING TO TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG SO WE WE CAN FIX YOUR FUCKING INTERNET?!

I shouldn't have said fuck, but I wasn't going to take her shit and my boss was awesome. I knew he'd have my back. Crusty didn't like that though.

TAL: *gasp* WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?! ROOOOAAAARRRRR

ME: Fuck this noise.

So I walk all the way down her gigantic rich bitch front steps, out of her driveway, and am on the SIDEWALK, when I hear her throw her dog inside, slam the door, run down the steps, and next thing I know she KICKS ME IN THE ASS. LITERALLY. KICKS. ME. WTF?!

ME (astounded): Did you just..? Did you just fucking KICK ME?! WHAT THE FUCK?! THAT'S ASSAULT! I'M CALLING THE COPS!

TAL: BLAHBLAHROOOAARR *goes inside*

Really? How is that okay?! Yes I came to your door, but you are ALREADY a customer and I hadn't even MENTIONED the word "sell" or anything like it. Plus its YOUR fucking house. If you don't want me to keep pushing you (and I will. I'm a good saleswoman) SHUT YOUR GODDAMN DOOR. Not that hard. Open, close. Open, close. Bitch.

I decide not to call the cops and just keep selling as she didn't hurt me (it was weak and hilarious. I was a bit shaken up though) and I hadn't been doing well in that area. So I kept going, only to be stopped by cops a half a block away. Turns out SHE called the cops on ME. So I got chewed out even though I'm the one who was assaulted. (Cops hated us.) Filled out a statement, but of course never heard back.

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Creepy custyFirst Place is a lot shorter. It's from my current job in Call Center Hell for the competitor of my previous company. Not third party. Great pay. Not great enough for this though.

THE MOST EXPLICIT PHONE CALL EVER.

ME: Fuck you for calling Pest, my name is blahblahscript how can I help you?

REALLY ANGRY GUY: Hi. I just called to let you know that YOU. ARE A BITCH. YES. YOU ARE A FUCKING BITCH. You work for a FUCKED UP company. You're company is SHIT. You are SHIT for working for the company.

He goes on. We aren't allowed to hang up on crustys so I decide to try ask him what the problem was. Of course he doesn't. He pauses. Then shit gets bad.

RAD: Do you have a wet pussy? I bet you do. I bet you have a nice, warm cunt. I bet you like to get fucked hard in your nasty wet cunt by your company, you stupid cunt. How do you like getting fucked you-"

*CLICK* I hung up. FUCK that. If they find out and want to write me up, go for it. I WILL NOT take that.

SERIOUSLY?! What the fuck is wrong with you?! Commit yourself, asshole. That is not okay on sooo many levels. I still can't believe he thought that was an acceptable way to talk to a stranger. WHAT?!

Some people's kids.

It actually DID get brought up during my personal performance meeting. I had mentioned it in a group chat with some people I went through training with (which is when they reminded me I could get in trouble) and my manager heard about it.

Awesome managersShe said she looked through all of my calls from that day, but "couldn't find it," and then told me since I'm still fairly new, its okay and "just don't do it again because the policy is very strict and taken seriously."

I wouldnt repeat the convo to her for obvious reasons but assured her it was bad. She said she knows the policy is hard to follow and next time put them on hold and go get her and shell take the call.

My manager is pretty awesome, and thinking about it now there's no way the call could have disappeared or been missed. I'm now willing to bet she DID find it, agreed with me, then said she couldn't find it to cover my ass. Maybe even erased it. Aww.

I've read stories on here were other companies let you hang up if they swear or they have 3 chances, etc and I'm jealous. Haha. My company is pretty huge and I guess they think its better customer service or something. Its weird because they do take REALLY good care of their employees, I don't think they think this kind of verbal abuse happens.

It hasn't been a pproblem for me any other time though. I'm extremely good at de-escalating pissed of custys and most of them calm down pretty quickly once I assure them I want to be the last one they talk to about the problem. Honestly, if I hung up every time someone swore I would have missed out on a few sales. But some people take it too far. This guy was unbelievable.

Our company is "merging" with another company (more like the other company decided to omnomnom on ours) so maybe the policy will change. It'd be nice to just KNOW I could hang up if I wanted to.

Anyway, sorry that was kind of long. I'll be writing often. Until then, stick it to the man any way you can ;)

--FuckYouForCalling

Comments

Account Deleted

I would be wondering, I mean don't all the calls get recorded for legal and safety purposes? Though next time that type of guy calls, say in a loud, clear voice, "Sir, you seem to have misdialled. If you are looking for a sex-hotline, I suggest to look for the 1-900 numbers. I'm sorry that we cannot help you with your current problems. Have a nice day!" and then hang up.
Even on record, you didn't insult them (well, not directly), made it audibly clear that they were going over the line, remained polite and kept to the script, finally politely saying goodbye before hanging up.

TechTyger

GN, depends on the place and their capabilities. HAL only recorded if you hit the 'record' button, supposedly. I don't think it ever actually worked. AOhelL recorded calls randomly, unless the QA cockmonglers were after you for some reason, in which case they could set it to record all your calls. The big red Z phone company recorded everything incoming and outgoing. But I worked for those companies over a total of 18 years now, so things have changed.

I like your way of handling it with the 900 number spiel. :P

Random comedy; had a ticket come in from HAL once saying 'User having problem installing dick'. (Just a mistype, but funny.)

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