From: cavelioness

My two jobs don't much lend themselves to customers after close: one is a hotel (which of course is 24/7) and the other is a pizza joint (mostly delivery in the later hours).

However, I do have one tale to offer of a customer who wouldn't take no for an answer... before we even opened.

My pizza shop opens at 11:00 am each day. One Saturday at around 9:30 I'm counting out the opening cash when a man comes to the front door. He tugs on it, it doesn't open, and he peers in at me.

Now, the front lights are off and the front door is locked. It should be pretty clear that we're closed. But he waves at me anyway. I tap my wrist and mouth, "We're not open."

He yells: "Can you let me in?"

I yell back: "We open at eleven!"

He looks frustrated and tugs at the door again. I frown at him and make a "shoo" motion with my hands.

My cook is coming around with the broom to go out and sweep the front parking lot. She asks if she should go out with the man standing right there. I finish counting and shut the cash register.

Me: "Yeah, just crack the door and tell him we're not open yet."

Big Mistake.

As soon as the door is unlocked, the man pushes on it hard, powering past my tiny cook until he's standing inside the store.

Me, quite sharply: "Sir! We ARE NOT open yet. We open at 11 am, and we can't make anything for you now as our dough is still rising and the oven is not turned on."

Annoying Man: "I don't need pizza, I just want to buy some of your crust flavoring."

Me: "I'm sorry, we don't have flavored crusts, that is another pizza chain."

Annoying Man: "I know that you have garlic spray for your crusts, that's what I want to buy."

Me: "Oh, yes, we do use a garlic spray for the stuffed crust only, but we don't sell it by itself."

Annoying Man: "I really need some, I'll give you five dollars for a can of it."

Me: "Sir, it's for store use only, we don't sell it separately, there's not even a way for me to ring it up for sale in our computer. Besides that, our store isn't open yet, so I have to ask you to please leave."

Annoying Man: "Well, what if I gave you ten dollars and a can of it just (he waggles his eyebrows) disappeared?"

I pause for a second, kinda tempted. But, I just put a can out on the cut table while setting up this morning and I know that we only have two cans left in the whole store... and our truck doesn't come in until Wednesday. And I'm a pretty honest person.

Plus the cook is right there watching.

Me: "Can't do it, sorry, sir."

AM (getting agitated): "Ten dollars! You won't let me buy a can for ten whole dollars?!"

Me (also getting annoyed): "Sir, the cans aren't mine to sell! They're store property, and if I get fired for selling store property then one hour's pay is not going to take care of my bills while I look for a new job. Now please leave!"

AM starts pleading: "They don't sell garlic spray in a can anywhere else! Please, I really need it today!"

Me: "They must sell it somewhere else."

Annoying Man: "Really? Where?"

Me: "I don't know, grocery stores? Have you tried the one in the shopping center here?"

Annoying Man: "You think they would have it? Because no place else has this stuff in a can like you do, nowhere!"

Now I have no clue, but I really want to get rid of this guy so I can go chop vegetables for the day.

Me: "I think there's a really good chance, why don't you go and check?"

AM (seems to sense that I'm bullshitting him): "So you guarantee that they're going to have garlic spray in a can over there? You guarantee it?"

Me (exasperated): "No sir, I don't guarantee anything, but I'm sure somewhere else has to have it, and I can't sell you ours. I also need to ask you to leave, now, before I call the police."

He finally, finally leaves.

Never, ever again will I unlock the door for an unexpected customer when it's not business hours.

--cavelioness