From mattkuru: These aren't your mother's Easter decorations.
It's been awhile since I worked as a server, and this isn't even one of my best stories, but I was reminded by it while reading another post on this sub and I couldn't help but share the grossest serving memory I have!
I used to work at an ice cream shop in Boston. If you're familiar with the area, think of too much cow decor and you might know approximately which one I mean.
You know how some people keep pens at the cash register with little trinkets attached to them? Like flowers or something sparkly? Well we kept spoons taped to ours. Just the regular, white plastic spoons that we served with every ice cream.
Now maybe this part of the story is our fault, but you grabbed a spoon at the cash register after you paid for the ice cream, and took both to your seat or out the door. The spoons were kept in large black containers, spoon-side down to reduce germs.
The pens were kept right next to them, but there were only a couple of pen-spoons, and they were obviously a lot taller, and the spoon part was facing up. And oh yeah: they were gross as fuck, having been touched by every credit card user and their mother. The masking tape holding the spoons to the pen was brown. And not the tan brown it's supposed to be. If you had a MINISCULE amount of brain, it wasn't hard to differentiate.
So one day, I was working in the back, and came up to the FOH to grab something when I see my coworkers just howling with laughter. Now obviously I wasn't around to see it happen, but the story goes that this idiot lady had managed to grab one of our pen-spoons and use it as a regular ice cream spoon until she had completely finished her ice cream. Moreover, she tore the pen and tape off the spoon in order to use it and still would never have caught on until one of my coworkers asked her why she'd mutilated one of our pens.
I think her excuse was something like "I thought all the spoons had free pens attached."
Needless to say she was grossed out and pissed. We were grossed out and hysterically laughing.
From butcherman7: Fortune cookie getting a little too real...
Just sharing a quickie with everyone: I am the customer who laughed when the DirecTV guy put a hole through our wall.
In his defense our house is sinking and the wall had too much pressure on it. When he drilled the hole for the cable to go through, all the plaster came with it!
He said it was the first time he ever had that happen in 15 years working for two different companies. We felt bad for him since it was his first fuck up with the company; we never reported him.
It wasn't his fault and this house is very old anyway.