RHU Pet Peeves: Well Meaning Or Not, It Sounds Condescending
Misfortune Cookies: That's Not Very Nice

The Pig's Head: Get me One, But I Don't Want It!


Carolanne argh 3From: Chili_T

I worked at a grocery store at a full service meat counter - this means if you wanted any type of meat (steaks, chicken, fish, etc - not deli meats) you had to get it from me behind a counter.


One morning I came in and started setting up the case as usual, when the phone rang 20 minutes before the doors opened.

Me: "Good morning, this is [store], meat department."

Customer: "Hi, yeah, y'all got any pig's heads?"

The odd request struck me off guard at first.

Me: "I'm sorry?"

Customer: "Pig's head - you know what a pig's head is, son? I need one ASAP."

Me: "Well I don't have any in back, but depending on when you need one, I can-"

Customer: "Well can ya order me one?"

I was getting slightly irritated at his condescending tone and interruption.

Me: "...Yes, sir. Yes we do."



He ended up ordering a pig's head for Wednesday of next week. We called our supplier and they were able to send one to us on our next shipment day. That Monday I decided to check in with the customer and let him know he could pick up his order at any time.

Customer: "Hello, [Customer Name]."

Me: "Hi, this is Chili_T from [store], I just wanted to let you know we got your pig's head in and you can come pick it up at any time."

I waited for a response, but only heard silence from the other end of the line.

Me: "...Sir? Are you there?"

Damien annoyedCustomer: "..."

Still no response. I was worried something may have happened to him - there was never a sign that he hung up the phone and he sounded elderly.

Me: "Sir? Can you hear me?"

Customer: "Yes! Yes I hear ya and No!"

Me: "No?"

Customer: "No, I didn't order any of yer pig's heads!"

The last comment struck me - I had dialed the correct number and he said his name on the phone.

Me: "Sir, I have it right here that you ordered a pig's head - you talked to me about it, you wanted to pick it up Wednesday."

Customer: "Then why are y'all calling me today on Monday?!"

Me: "I just wanted to tell you it's ready whenever you're available..."

Customer: "Well I didn't order any so I'm not gonna get one - you can't pawn yer old meat stuffs on me!"

He then slammed on his receiver and hung up. I was left with a $200 pig's head that we had no idea how to sell.



Over the next week, we tried selling the head in the case at a discounted price so we could recoup some of our costs on it, however nobody seemed interested in buying it.

It became more of a spectacle that people would point at and laugh in the case, then get on with their order. After a while, the pig's head finally started to go bad and we had to throw it out.



About a month later, I was setting up the case once again and the phone rang.

Me: "Morning, [store] meat department."

Customer: "Yeah hey, [Customer Name], I need a pig's head."

Regan jabThis asshole called again.

For the same thing.


A bloodthirst for vengeance quickly took hold over my brain.

Me: "Sure, sir. Come on in and we'll get you one today, we're no longer allowed to take orders for them..."



Two hours later a very large man squeezed through the front door, wearing a cowboy hat and boots. Logic told me this was the man I was looking for. He didn't look anywhere near as old as he sounded, he was probably only in his early 30's.

Customer: "Alright, where's the pig's head ya promised me."

I handed him a slip of paper.

Customer: "What the hell is this?"

Me: "The bill for the last one you ordered and never picked up. Once you settle for that one then we can talk about getting you another one."

He suddenly went into a fit of rage, demanding to see a manager. Since Meat Manager was on vacation this week, I showed him to Ben, who usually took his place when Meat Manager was away.

Freddy frustration 2Ben: "What can I do for you, chief?"

Customer: "Ya need to get me a pig's head, now. I want one, ya got one, and I need it."

I then explained the situation to Ben, who didn't say a word the entire time. He then nodded, took the scrap of paper from the counter, read it over, and handed it back to the big man.

Ben: "Look, now the way I see it, Chili here is being real generous to you by making you pay the same balance. This shit ain't cheap, and we have a business to run here. We can't afford people like you sucking money from us. You want anything from this meat department again? You pay this bill right here."

Customer looked at the bill in his hands, his face still red from the fury he let fly earlier. He then slammed his hand on the glass case, then turned around with his bill and walked to the front counter, where Ben followed him to make sure he paid it off.

Oddly enough though, we never saw him again.





I don't know if he was trying to troll you or he was just an ass, but I'm glad you dealt with that.


Heh. Shame you didn't have the first one around still...

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