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Stockwork Hell: I Felt The Fury Of Unending Felt


ILIA3From: Ilia

Well it's over and done with, as of the 18th, I no longer work for DudeNameCraftStore. I submitted my two week notice at the beginning of the month, so that I could prepare for moving to Oregon come April. (For those who may be concerned, don't worry, I'm scheduling ahead so that you all have content to enjoy! :) )

However, related to DudeNameCraftStore, I got to tell one last story to a fellow slave, which I will now relate to you.

Imagine if you will the "Kid's Jewelery" section of the store; Perler Beads, feathers and pompoms on one side, felt, foam and Popsicle sticks on the other. Now imagine rows upon rows of felt. Stackers of felt. 72 slots for felt in all, each with a thick wad stocked in its place.

The shelves are full, and we have four bunker drawers and six overstock boxes CRAMMED full of felt. We are prepared for a minor sale on felt in the near future.

Now come to the dark side with me. A simple, but devastating glitch. A computer glitch.

That quiver of foreboding that you're feeling is confirmed. Our entire stash of felt is zeroed out. Gone. Finito. According to our computer, we do not have a single scrap of felt in our store.

(Interlude: my coworker's eyes went about as wide as your own (probably) as I'm telling him this. He looked at me, looked at his own four bunker drawers and six overstock boxes, then back at me in abject horror.)


Meanwhile, the retail slaves are in happy la la blissland. Everything is awesome! Everything is cool when... oops. Sorry. Anyway the truck arrives.

Jason ArghManagement is puzzled but do not question the influx of felt. Corporate "logic" is notorious for deciding that selling three items means that it is popular. We sell three items, six more boxes of the crap is highly likely to arrive.

Management is puzzled. Us slaves, however, are "ZOMG WTF!" as we (read; me and one other slave) struggle to find a place to put this influx of six freaking boxes of felt. There is NO ROOM in the bunker drawers. It's overstock time, which demands a ladder and a short bucket brigade to get crap on top of the side counters.

We have to flee to the back of the store to get overstock boxes. Add to the confusion, chaos and panic; corporate mandates you completely unbox your shipment, then re-box your overstock in corporate approved standard boxes. So you can't just throw a shipment box up there. No, no. You have to take double the time and effort to make it pretty in standardized boxing.

We box up the felt, complain to management that we have too much felt and are brushed off as, "Corporate knows best."

Cue the second truck the following week. SIX MORE BOXES OF FELT!

There is a rallying shriek of, "OH HELL NO! I'MMA FUCKING QUIT RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!" from the felt aisle.

We rush in to stare in stupefied horror at the fellow slave's knee deep pile of felt. The sale begins in two days, we have nowhere to display it and our overstock is already the corporate mandated two-boxes-high-and-no-higher above our heads.

Truck shift manager tells her, "Do what you can. If it means illegally stacking three boxes high for a day, let it be three boxes high. I'll see what can be done."

Carolanne argh 4Basically, Manager 2 spent her entire shift built a non-corporate-plan-o-gram drive aisle (link is what drive aisles look like) display that was placed front and center, with signs, in the hopes of getting the felt to move.

Investigations were done, and the zeroed out felt was discovered. Recall that we were two shipments in (aka two weeks running) and it was still apparently zeroing out every bit of felt that was Received in shipments... Which means if we hadn't caught it, we would have continued to receive massive shipments of felt to eternity or until the store's walls ruptured under the pressure, whichever came first.

Management had to call tech support and "unplug it, then plug it back in, then turn it on, and off, now on again" until the glitch was sorted from its brain. THEN Manager 3 had to go to spend an entire shift of nothing but inventory corrections to document the felt we now had to get rid of.

The sale lasted a week. It took three to return the felt to manageable proportions again.

To this day, the felt section is the most hated section of the store, and "felt" itself is used as a swear word in our store.

Felt it all...





I liked Oregon when I was out there near Portland. They have really, really good tap water, and it's beautiful. Lots of upping and downing for a flatlander, though. :P (me)


Good luck with the move! And I personally love that - "felt is now a cuss word". lol


From Chick-named-Craft-Store, I feel your pain.

"Here's another box of [brand] patterns."

"But there is absolutely no room in the drawers for more [brand] patterns. Can I keep them in a box instead?"

"They have to be in an inventory box."

"But inventory boxes don't fit patterns very well."

"We'll have to figure something out, then."

(for the record, the thread stands are next to the patterns, have drawers for overstock, and had an empty drawer!)


We have one small three-shelved cart about 3 feet by 2 1/2 feet. Our "back room" is about 6 feet by 24 and filled with our dishwashing sink, desk, water heater and softener, racks for our soda fountain, and a spigot with hoses for our mop and cleaning supplies. Our very few shelves have boxes of documents and our supplies. Somehow, corporate thinks we have room to put countless boxed displays and tons of back stock. Zomg! You sold one whole pack of (insert candy name here)! You must have three more cases! Oh, and you have three new major planograms, so here is ALL the new product for it!

Kai Lowell


Good luck with the move, Ilia! :)


Good luck with the move! I did Denver to Seattle last July so I appreciate the planning involved with a long distance move. I hope you enjoy it... oh and please accept an early welcome to the Pacific North West! :D

Tech Support Survivor

Good luck with the move, and here's hoping it goes much easier than my last one.

Double U Gal

You are moving here?? Awesome! Can't wait! Much fun! Such Wow!

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