TechTyger had a website (known as The Doofus of the Unspecified Time Period) where he posted stories from Call Center Hell. At our encouragement, he's submitting his stories for RHU's enjoyment! We've now progressed to the AOL Years.
Look, I understand that AOL is your entire world and if your AOL isn't working, then you don't exist. It's stupid, but I can understand it. But if the phone company cuts your phone off for you not paying your bill, you not being able to connect to AOL has nothing to do with AOL. I don't care if you ordered it through AOL. It comes from the phone company. And if you don't pay for it, they take it away from you.
Customer: "Then you have to call them and have them turn it back on! It's your responsibility!"
TechTyger: "Sorry, sir. We only handle the AOL software. You are responsible for maintaining your equipment and for the functioning of your non-AOL connection. You will need--"
It interrupts and goes back into how it's AOL's fault that he didn't pay his bill and it's AOL's fault that his connection isn't working because he ordered the DSL connection through AOL and we didn't tell him that he'd have to pay the phone company for it and wah waah waah. He knows it's SBC DSL and phone service because he told me to begin with, as in, "SBC turned off my phone because I didn't pay my bill. I want you to turn it back on."
Actually, yes, they did. Sit Useless By Phone has a setup where they can order connections for people through the phone company's systems, but it is made very clear to them in a recorded announcement that they have to listen to and press a button to indicate their acceptance of that it is not in any way an AOL connection. The box that they get says 'SBC' or 'Bell South' or 'Verizon' on it, not AOL.
We go around this circle three or four more times and now he wants a supervisor. My supervisor has gone home sick for the day, and I wouldn't bother him with this anyway.
So, "No. My supervisor is not available and would do you no good anyway, as the problem is not with the AOL software. You need to get the connection working--" It interrupts again and starts trying to threaten me about how it'll cancel if we don't fix its problem.
TechTyger: "Sure. Would you like me to transfer you over now?"
Customer: "No! I want you to fix the problem like I pay you a lot of money for!"
TechTyger: "Actually, you're paying SBC the money, or you were until you stopped paying them. Your problem is not with AOL--" It tries to interrupt again at this point. I just ride it down,"Your problem is with your phone line which you told me is not working because you haven't paid your bill. Since AOL has nothing to do with SBC, you will need to talk to SBC to get it fixed. Unfortunately I don't have a phone number for them. Would you like to call them, or would you like to talk to the cancellation department?"
Incoherent sputtering... Silence. Click.
Happiness. Another AOLuser gets what it deserves, even if it's not what it wanted.