TechTyger had a website (known as The Doofus of the Unspecified Time Period) where he posted stories from Call Center Hell. At our encouragement, he's submitting his stories for RHU's enjoyment!
This idiot works for the same company as above. It calls in, having removed both batteries from its handheld computer, and being surprised that it erased everything on it. [The handhelds use volatile memory and depend on power to keep their information. You can change either the backup or the main battery, but if you have both of them out at once, it's gone.]
It tells me a huge amount of background information that I don't need in this droning voice, in the face of my telling it I don't care. It doubleclicks when you tell it to right click, it right clicks when you tell it to doubleclick, when you tell it to restart the computer [Even after giving it explicit directions, 'Click on start. Click on 'shut down'. Choose 'restart'. Hit 'ok'.] it shuts it down, if you tell it to shut down it either restarts, or just shuts it off with the power switch, then you have to repair that.
I finally manage to focus it long enough to get the rebuild started to put its information back on the stupid thing, and only then does it bother to tell me that it's not a field rep. It got hold of this Sharp somehow, and should not have had it, but it likes to use it for its Outlook. It gives me five minutes of utterly pointless information ["Three weeks ago, I was using an Excel worksheet and it gave me some problems, but I got it fixed. Then Word had a problem, it wouldn't show any pictures, but I got that fixed..." [Yes, that was a direct quote. Things that are A) completely irrelevant to why it called, and B) had been fixed a month ago are deemed important enough to tell me, but the information that its system is not intended to have this function on it is not.]]
If it had bothered to tell me this at the beginning of the call, I'd have been saved half an hour of irritation and frustration, and just sent it to its company that would have told it to send in the thing to begin with, as it shouldn't have it. And worse, it will probably complain when the call is surveyed. I tend to get a little monotone after having to repeat the same simple directions ['Doubleclick the icon.'] six times in two minutes, and having it utterly ignored.