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Newbie Hell: Techtyger's Double Nightmare On the First Day of a New Job



Referring to made me think of my first day at my new job, and the reply ended up being long enough for a submission, so... :P 
The first day I was on the phones by myself at my current job, my very first call was one of our worst repeat customers. No patience, barks a phone number at you and expects you to know which of the 22 different stores that comes up with it is, etc. 

My LAST call of the day was the other repeat offender, who is all sweet and happy until you tell her she can't have something she wants. Then out comes Satan's wife...

All on my first day by myself. :P Fortunately they were reasonably simple problems I could handle myself, aside from her wanting me to pull my magic wand out of my ass and do something we specifically can't do. 
The last time I talked to her, she had a problem where she was supplying credit terminals to what appeared to be a major tennis tournament in a nearby city, and they were having a problem where the terminals were batching out automatically, and not waiting for tips to be added. The reason for that? The front end bank can't handle batches larger than 999 transactions, so the software dumps it when it hits that to prevent overloading and corrupting the transactions. 

This was happening 5-6 times a day. In each of the 15 restaurants. That each had between 3 and 6 terminals... ALL of them were doing it. I later did some figgerin' and figured out that that was around 100k transactions a day... Unfortunately, it was a limitation of the bank itself; nothing we could do. I offered to and did conference her with the bank, and the level 3 tech support (Unicorns are less rare than that...) told her that yeah, he could disable the limit... but for every transaction over 999, there was a bigger and bigger chance that it'd fuxxor8 the whole batch and lose everything. Starting at about 95% and going up from there. She spluttered a bit, and he suggested the same thing I'd said half an hour earlier, do the tips at the time, rather than waiting, so they'd only lose the last few tips in each batch and have to have them manually entered. So for the rest of the week we got snippy little emails about 'these transactions need tips'... and because of the volume (ie money) coming in from it, they bypassed all the usual 'verify this sheet, sign this legal release so we can pretend to be you' stuff, and management did every one of the transactions... 




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