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Mistaken Identity: The Powers Of The Lanyard


1 Mistaken Identity Freddy TagFrom  caitmac

Today I experienced their magical power of lanyards for the first time. I was at a big box store, wearing normal not-work clothes and pushing a cart with a few items already in it. Around my neck I was wearing my keys on a lanyard, and my sunglasses were hooked on them too. This lanyard is also Seahawks themed, blue and green, it says "Sherman" and has his number 25 and the Seahawks logo on it. I live in the Seattle area, so people are used to Seahawks stuff, and this usually seems to cancel out the lanyard's powers of deception.

But not today. As I stop to grab some tomatoes this dude comes up to me, and this is the conversation we had:

Dude: "Excuse me, do you work here?"

Me: "I'm sorry, no."

Dude: [Glances at my lanyard and powers on.] "I'm looking for something..."

Me: [Interrupting.] "I'm sorry, I don't work here."

Dude: [Is transfixed by the powers of the lanyard and continues as if I didn't say anything] "It's a dry chopped garlic, do you guys carry that anymore?"

Me: [Voice getting insistent] "I have no idea, I said I don't work here."

Dude: [Stares blankly at my lanyard, transfixed and clearly not believing me.] "Uh..."

I walked away before he could figure out how someone wearing a lanyard could possibly be anything other than an employee. But in retrospect, I think he thought "Sherman" was my name (which is even funnier, since I'm a lady). I guess he doesn't like football!





Just walk away, man, you can't fix stupid.


Poor guy.


Not knowing Richard Sherman in WA is something akin to blasphemy.


I'm half tempted to wear my bright pink breast cancer awareness lanyard into Hellmart next time I'm in there. For science.


The only way it could be justifiable is if he was looking for Skittles, and then only so much.

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