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Adult Store Hell: Violator! Desecrator! Selling Tools Of The Devil!

 

ADULTSTOREFrom PornoManager, TalesFromRetail

Stupid customers. I'm the manager at a sex toy/porn store. You think working at a porno store would be a fun job, it isn't. So yesterday some crazy lady comes in and starts yelling at me for selling sex toys "I bet your parents are real proud of you!" rabble rabble rabble.

I tell Crazy lady, if she needs any help she needs to tell me. She pulls out a black dildo from her purse. She slams it down on the counter and screams she wants a refund, as she caught her daughter using it. I stare at her, and tell her we do not accept returns without a receipt and we do not accept returns of used dildos. I calmly tell her to take it off my counter as I don't know where that's been.

Crazy lady starts yelling that I am going to burn in hell, and she wants her money back. Again I calmly explain I can not accept this item. Crazy lady goes on a rant about how evil and sad I am for selling these items.

"Well, that's all fine and dandy but I don't really give a damn. Either buy something or get out as I am not accepting this item." I explained as nicely as possible.

Crazy lady goes up in arms and starts waving the dildo in my face "I want to speak to the manager!"

I smile, "Ma'am, I am the manager."

She gets red in the face and then screams she wants to talk to the owner. "Ma'am, the owner is a busy man and can't always be here. I don't think you would like to see him mad. I am sorry ma'am, but, I can not accept a used dildo."

Crazy lady gets mad and throws the dildo at my face and then spits on me. "God will strike you dead. You are a corrupter. You have defiled my daughter by selling her this tool of the devil. I shall not leave until I have a refund!"

I shake my head, no more being nice. I tell her to get the hell out of my store before I call Police. We have a very clear no soliciting rule. Crazy lady stutters and thinks I'm bluffing. I'm not, I pick up the phone and prepare to call.

Crazy Lady runs out the store and that's last I see of her. What's worse: is today was supposed to be my day off. I only came in because my asst-manager and other worker decided to "conveniently" call in sick today, leaving me as the only one working today.

--PornoManager

 

Comments

Misty Meanor

Yeah, real convenient. Give them a lecture about this when you see them again.

Herpetarium

Throwing dildos at them seems like a nice idea too....
Double points if used dildos.

Lightning

"as she caught her daughter using it"
Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew! Unclean! Ew! I'd never touch that thing; not even with thick gloves on! Ew!

"You have defiled my daughter by selling her this tool of the devil."
Psssst! She has HANDS, you know. Are those devil tools, too?

TechTyger

To this kind of religious idiot, -everything- is a devil tool.

Rysky

That's not a Violator.

*pulls out a BD Gryphon*

THAT'S a Violator, and it feels great shoved up my ass. Now is there anything I can help you with, ma'am?

PersephoneUnderground

"I'm not even supposed to be here today!"

LadyBelle

Assault with a body fluid once she spit. I say why not call the cops, why just threaten. The only concern would be a policeman might chase away real customers just by being there, but bat shit crazy lady needs taken off for a time out.

BH

Why don't we call this crazy religious lady Margaret White after Carrie White's mom in "Carrie"? She certainly fits that description!

TechTyger

(giggles at Ryskyter) I bet she'd go right up in flames... that'd be hilarious.

Rysky

Hehe, YUS

(glad someone knew I what that was ^w^)

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