In my roaming for Christmas song titles I found some really horrible songs that I just can't believe were meant for Christmas! Take this as your "Trigger Warning" because... DAMN... If you choose NOT to listen to these songs and only vote based on the song titles, I won't hold it against you. I've added some comments after the song title and singer; either to sum up the horribleness or just remark on the ones that are obviously just plain wrong.

Choose your top 3.

1. White Christmas (The Jingle Cats) Ever drop acid before? No? Well watch this psychedelic mess and I'm pretty sure you'll have a good idea.
2. Christmas Tree (Lady Gaga) -- Fa la la la la, my vagina is a tree! - Kind of an amusing song, if not for children. Lots of christmas symbols as innuendos
3. Back Door Santa (Clarence Carter) Just going around having sex with all the women in town behind their boyfriend's backs...
4. Don't Shoot Me Santa (The Killers) -- In this one, a kid shoots other kids because they teased him and asks Santa for forgiveness… but Santa has his own revenge in mind and readies a bullet for the young boy.
5. Please, Daddy (Don’t Get Drunk on Christmas) by John Denver --Nothing says "Christmas" like getting smashed and beating your wife in front of your kid...
6. Santa Claus Has Got The Aids (Tiny Tim) -- ............. Seriously?
7. Christmas Tree On Fire (Holly Golightly) Our house burned down and all my presents went with it
8. Father Christmas (The Kinks) - A Mall Santa gets the crap kicked out of him and robbed by a bunch of poor kids.
9. The Christmas Song (Adam Sandler) Tried to down his sister, set the pizza guy's hair on fire, sent a death threat the the vice president.. .you know... Christmassy!
10. Dead Man Up The Chimney (Fester & Alin) Shot Santa while he was in the chimney, can't pull his corpse out so they'll just burn it up instead...

Send in your votes to: submit@retailhellunderground.com