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Retail Balls Award: +5 Mop Of Door Locking


Balls award1From Heald

I do volunteer work at a church, and by 'work' I mean that if I missed a week, they are unable to have a service. So I'm busy from the second I walk in, to the second I walk out, and normally am running around with boxes, wires and the like. I clean. I set up. I tear down. I do tech on the audio system. If the kids make prop pieces for skits, I keep an eye on them while they dry then very carefully move them to a safe storage spot until they're ready to be used. That last one is harder than you think, because I have to move them by myself, and maneuver them through doors all without accidentally slamming a door on them.

One woman sees me do this, and every week bitches and moans about things that she thinks is wrong and DEMANDS that I stop to listen. This woman hates me because I'm not from a Christian home (I became Christian later in life, but wasn't raised on it) and she is very vocal of her dislike of me.

One day, I'm carrying a mop and a bucket to clean up a spill, and I kick open some doors and rush through because I'm busy.

From behind, I hear a nasally, "EXCUSE ME! OPEN THE DOOR FOR ME!"

Now I just kicked this door open with both hands full. It's not locked. It's not even latched. If she puts her hand on it and pushes, it will swing open.

"Just push it open, ma'am," I call back, steering the bucket to the location of the spill.

"I said open the door!"

Okie dokie then. This is where it ends. Right here, right now. I pull the door firmly shut, then put the mop through the door handles, locking her out of the church. Then I went along with my other jobs. It was worth it to go to the closet to get a second mop to clean the spill.

I mean hey, let's face it... Jesus flipped tables. I lock people out with cleaning utensils. Same thing really.

Afterwards she tried to get me fired... from a volunteer job... that only I in the whole congregation knows how to do in its entirety. This woman is not a smart person.

Let's just say she wasn't QUITE laughed out of the office, but it was made very clear to her that not only was I NOT going to be booted but that if she was having a 'conflict of personality' with me, then she was simply not to interact with me at all.

Happy days!





Better yet, if she thinks a single person, you, is the sole, huge problem with the church's on-goings... go to a different church. Nobody will miss her.


I love you. That was the best way to deal with her. I don't know what her malfunction was, but you sure mopped the floor with her.


Pretty sure Jesus laughed so hard the nails came off....

Shay Simmons

Yep. I volunteer with an internationally-known NGO. I have had a client try to get me fired.

Someone else unclear on the concept.

Samantha Conklin

Next time (IF there is a next time), you can hand her the mop and thank her for her help.

A side note/story - I was a troop leader for a Girl Scout for 12 years. We did a lot of larger events, for the scouts, as well as smaller events - every time (EVERY.TIME) we had a few mothers/troop leaders complain about some portion of the event. We always told them, "Thank you so much for your feedback - we'll look into it. We will also expect you to be on the planning committee for the next event, since you have a flair for finding things we can improve on."

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