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Delivery Hell: Showing Off The "Goods"

 

Skullysanta4From AreNotOnFire, AskReddit

I used to be a delivery driver for Pizza Hut. I used to work the Sunday afternoon shifts and would have the same man order a supreme pizza every week.

I was always the one to deliver his order because most of the time I was the only driver on duty at that time of day.

Alan was a nice, quiet man who had a lovely front porch. One day, I didn't take his delivery for some reason.

Poor Marvon took the delivery instead... on the day that Alan decides to open the door stark naked. Alan wanted to show me (a small redheaded girl) the goods, not big, black, Marvon.

Alan never got another delivery.

--AreNotOnFire

 

Comments

Misty Meanor

Brain bleach anyone?

Lightning

The only appropriate reaction to someone flashing you: "...eh, I've seen bigger/prettier."

Sandman2010

Would have been better if Marvon winked and told Alan what time he got off work.

TenebrisVenator

@ Lightning: I disagree. The ultimate appropriate response to that is "Looks like a penis, only smaller"
Unfortunately, I can't take credit for the line, it's from Pink Cadillac, the Clint eastwood movie, but it's still the best response I've ever heard
Also, WHY TF DO GUYS DO THIS? I'm a guy,and I don't get it, at all. What's the logic or psychology behind this phenomenon of guys either flashing or sending unsolicited pics of their junk?

TechTyger

Pretty sure it's older than that. :P I read it in one of the Callahan's Crosstime Saloon books and they were out before Pink Caddy...

As to why, I got nothin'. Too many porn movies that begin with a pizza guy delivering a pizza with extra sausage?

Kai Lowell

Callahan's! *squee* Love those books. (I just keep finding more and more reasons to like you, TT.)

TechTyger

(grins and licks Kai's nose) Mrry Kitsmas. :)

Lightning

Tenebris, I have a plethora of lines to give to that. I'm asexual, so I seriously have no interest in any what they are presenting - not to mention the fact that I consider genitalia to look incredibly ugly, in general. As for why they show them... uh... male dominance instinct? 'Behold my junk, I am awesome'? I dunno. Just point and laugh.

Kai Lowell

*scritches behind TT's ears* :D

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