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RHU's Top Three "What The Fuck Is Wrong With You" Christmas Songs Of 2016

 

RHU is a hub of dark humor, and even darker fantasies. We don't raise an eyebrow when a fellow RHUer contemplates horrible fates meted out upon the heads of Crustys. We smile and commiserate. We applaud. We even offer suggestions to improve the dark fantasy that our fellow RHUers have concocted.

But sometimes there's a line. Sometimes we encounter something that goes too far. Today we're taking a look at "Christmas Songs" that are just a little too far into 'What the fuck is wrong with you?!'

 

3. Don't Shoot Me Santa (The Killers)

In this one, you hear about a supposed kid who shoots other kids because they teased him and asks Santa for forgiveness… but Santa has his own revenge in mind and readies a bullet for the young boy.

But watching the video, the "kids" are all adults. As the clearly disturbed singer says how he did "every little thing you told me to" listeners get the uncomfortable feeling that the singer is hearing voices, and the voices have decided to dispose of him. We're pretty sure this isn't Santa talking to you, buddy.

This song, if it were meant to be played for laughs, has failed. The group plays the song straight, and feels like a disturbing touch into the mind of someone who is actually and legitimately criminally insane. Not very christmassy, and not at all fun to listen to.

 

2. The Christmas Song by Adam Sandler

Well it's by Adam Sandler, which makes this song a failure right from the get-go. Maybe some people can "get" his humor and perhaps enjoy this steaming pile of bad behavior, but I just can't stand this asshole.

This song talks about how he tried to down his sister, set the pizza guy's hair on fire, sent a death threat the the vice president and toward the end, gave the implication that he had sex with a billy goat... you know... Christmassy! 

 

1. Santa Claus Has Got The Aids by Tiny Tim

............. Seriously? Just what was Tiny Tim thinking when he decided to put this song out? First he makes light of the AIDS epidemic and then he brings Santa Claus into it! Aside from feeding the stereotype of homosexuality linked with getting a fatal autoimmune disease, the song goes on to say that all the reindeer "know what he's going through."

Okay so Santa is gay, has Aids..... and apparently gave it to all his reindeer, so let's just throw in bestiality on Santa's lap now, shall we? As the song goes along, it demonstrates a lack of actual knowledge, claiming that Santa will totally get better, it's just like a cold or getting the Clap.

Or maybe Santa's just magical enough to be able to cure himself of the disease. I dunno. This song just seems like the ultimate 'What the fuck is wrong with you" song.

 

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