From honig_huhn, TalesFromYourServer

I mostly work closing shifts in a bar and even though we stay open until at least 3 am I get those groups almost every fucking time. And then the dance begins:

A group comes in, seeing clearly that we're cleaning up. They just try to order anyway. I inform them politely that we're closed. And then proceed to have the same conversation as every other night.

But we only want [insert drink here] - no, we're closed

We can drink it quickly. - no, we're closed

There are still people drinking stuff here. - they ordered when we made last call. now we're closed

You could just give us something. - no, we're closed. and if I give you something everybody expects to be served again as well, so no

But we will tip you! - gosh, thanks, but we're closed

Tip you very well - your "very well" probably doesn't match my "very well", but it doesn't matter anyway, we're closed now

We work at a bar too, we know you want to finish up, but please make an exception... - hell's no. if you really worked in a bar you would have left five minutes ago when I first told you we were closed

But my favourites are people who I ask if they want a last drink (they decline), then watch me clean and disinfect the counter and taps for half an hour (a lot of soap, scrubbing and water is involved) and then get pissed off when I tell them that I won't dirty everything again for their one tapped beer.

--honig_huhn