A new month dawns here on RHU but not everything is new. I mean, let's face it, we were seeing Valentines Chocolate sometime around mid December, right? So... Yeah, just a short January break from the holiday hordes and then... INCOMING LAST MINUTE BOYFRIENDS AND HUSBANDS!

With that said, we thought it would be fun to go deep with Valentine's Day Hell this year in RHU storyland. Jason knows the pain of retail workers who have to deal with lovesick custys in February, as right now he is over on aisle 3 tending to mauled teddy bears and half-eaten candy left behind from unruly piggy shoppers. He's says there are some crazy stories headed your way dear readers.

Stay warm and enjoy all that chocolate and candy that will inevitably end up in your mouth during February, they are one of the best painkillers for Retail Hell!

Valentine's Day Hell 

Since most of us work or have worked in retail, we all pretty much see Valentine's Day as an over-commercialized pile of false affection. For many it just ends up turning into Tokens of My Contempt Day. However, after that, as we all know, is the first Discount Chocolate Day of the year, so there's a pleasure some can look forward to: Overpriced candy at half price!

Along with any general Valentine's Day Hell tales, we will also be hearing from slaves who work in Flower Shops, Chocolatiers, and Candy Stores reliving all the Retail Hell they've experienced at the hands of lovesick custys. If you have a Valentine Hell tale to tell from yesteryear, we'd love to post it!

Server Hell

For the last few years we have covered Restaurant Hell in February. This year we thought we'd hear from those that are dealing with it directly: The Servers.

Since RHU's beginning we have heard from many waitresses and waiters who work in restaurants, sharing their funny and sometimes awful tales. There's no end to the hell a server can endure: tip-stiffers, picky eaters, creeps, entitled whiners, dine n dashers, hellspawn. Whatever food service nightmare you or someone you know has experienced, share the Server Hell story with us on RHU. 

Newbie Narratives

Everyone has been a newbie at some point, so this theme we can all relate to. From the slave to the manager, we've all had our lumps during that first week or so of frantically learning the ropes. Whether you got your first crusty, first scam artist, or first speshul sneuxflayke, we look forward to hearing about your "First Day on the Job" and any "Newbie Hell" that may have gone down. Whether you are working in retail or not, this a theme we can all join in on. We'd love to hear your funniest tale of when you were the new person.

[Fortune Cookies]

Our first photo collection of the month is a return from last year. We had so much fun with Misfortune Cookies we thought we'd bring them them back for another round of hilarious wacky and weird phrases. Whether amusingly cut off fortunes, misspelled fortunes or just downright bizarre, we will be posting them. If you end up with any after your delicious chinese meal, take a snapshot of your fortune and send to us! And just in case you're not aware of a somewhat naughty tradition, folks in the USA like to add "In bed" to the end of their fortunes. So if you happen to discover a fun one, send it in with your own ending: "You will explore new horizons. (In bed!)"

[Seems Legit]

Another one of our favorite themes that was born on Reddit and has now become a staple on RHU is "Seems Legit."The world is full of things that just don't jive with appearances. Whether it's that "official" vehicle that looks rusted and sinister, or that business that claims to be a valid vendor but can't spell the company's name right, we're looking for some sarcastic photos that you can look at and go "...seems legit..."

[Candy and Chocolate Fails]

As candy and chocolate take center stage this month, we thought it would be fun to show the fucked up side of some of our most treasured sweets. Whether it's a KitKat missing wafers, a chocolate covered bug, or a novelty sucker that looks like an alien mutant, will be taking a chuckle at confectionaries gone wrong. 

 send all your pics and stories to [email protected]