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RHU Meme: What Is The Dumbest Question A Customer Has Ever Asked You?

 

Greetings folks of RHU! It's time for some input from all of you: RHU meme time! We all know the reason for the site, and we all have stories to share. This time, we're asking a simple question...

 

Dumbest question

Send us your answers! They can be a short answer, or they can come with a story! Either way, we'll post them to the site next month and give them an RHU Meme to immortalize your answers!

You can comment on this post, or you can sent it in to our email, whichever you prefer!

Send them to: submit@retailhellunderground.com

 

Comments

StormofDarkness

The first question? Not so much. The follow-up is where you scratch your head.

Customer: Where can I find the cheeses?

Me: Aisle two, ma'am.

Customer: Where is aisle two?

Me: *looks at the nearest aisle and ponders how someone could be so dumb that they can't see that the aisles are in descending order*

ShutterBug

"Do you guys carry pickling salt?" At the night window of a gas station. At 3 in the morning.

Aly Crashie Norris

This is back when the garden centre we were attached to was open. Now the garden centre was shut on weekends, crazy I know, and they had signs up on all their doors, hours posted on the drive and their answer machine said they were shut.
Customer comes in, tries all their doors then comes up to me.
C- Hi, I called the garden centre and their answer machine said they were shut, are they open?
m- .... *head explodes*

Velvetelvie

Reverse of the brief, but in reply to my question whether a salad was dairy free -
"No, because it has eggs in the mayonnaise."
"... Eggs aren't dairy."
"Of course they are!"

Molly_Mog

I'm torn between customers staring at the menu and asking if we sell coffee or when the sign is up that the coffee machine is out of order AND I tell them it's broken they ask: "Why can't I get a coffee?"

KingfisherDrew

Oh crumbs, where do I start. We are a plumbers merchant, but we get asked:
'Do you sell office chairs?'
'Do you sell light bulbs for cars?'
'Do you sell door bells?'
'Do you sell batteries for cordless phones?
'How much will a plumber charge to install a bathroom?'
'Do you sell paint?'
'Do you sell Satellite TVs?'


and one from last Saturday;
'I didn't buy this shower from your company, but how do I fit it? it didn't have any instructions.

Fenian2153

No. 1) Customer is 30 feet from GIGANTIC exit from our store into the mall. Other shops are PLAINLY VISIBLE from where she's standing. "How do I get into the mall from here?"
No. 2) Customer has phoned our store to place a large order. "Can I pay with cash?" (She actually thought we'd send the merch for her approval and she'd mail us cash sometime later!)
No. 3) Our store had about 20 kayaks attached to the front, back, sides and CEILING.
Customer: "Do y'all sell kayaks?" (Yes, he was completely serious.)

CopyClone

*Looks up at approaching customer, I'm currently surrounded by printers, paper, finishing machines and other print items. There are also several giant Copy and Print signs *
" Hi! What brings you to the copy and print center today?"
Customer: "Yeah....do, you guys make like...copies here?"

x.x

Thaliana81

Customer: "Will this tea kettle work in Canada?"

We were twenty minutes from the border, at the closest Walmart the US has to Canada. Yes, it was an electric tea kettle, but the plugs are the same across North America.

Me: "Yes, of course it will."

Customer: turns to the older cashier at the till fifteen feet away. "I'll just ask you, you're so much older and wiser than the young ones...you understand, right dear?"

Older Cashier: "I'm just a Cashier, Thaliana knows way more about that stuff than I do. Plus, she's from Canada. She'd know if you can use the kettle there. I wouldn't."

Customer: "You can't trust young people to know these things...are you sure it'll work in Canada?"

Flutilicious

Answer phone: "Thank you for calling House of Fabrics, how may I help you?"
Customer: "Do y'all sell fabrics?"

Working at Walgreen's "Do you sell meat?"

Jofur

Where are your hot peppers? These are the JalapeƱo, Habanero, Ghost, and others.
I want the hot peppers not those.
These are the hot peppers.
No.
We don't have any then. I walk away.

Jofur

Add on: One year the boss got hold of some of the wild peppers, that are very tiny and super hot. He collected hot peppers, so we had the best selection in the area.

Lil_Tiger42

As I was counting the till, with the lights off and music blasting, a customer yanks on the locked door handle and then starts knocking incessantly on the glass door to get my attention. This is fairly normal for the shop and most people will just wander off to find a 24 hours shop.

I point to my wrist and mouth "We're closed, sorry" because all my copiers and computers are off as well as having a butt-load of cash sitting out. There was no way I was going to open a door for someone as I was alone and it was late at night. I also wanted to get home and my boss was a stickler with OT.

When I finally clock out, gather my bag and coat, set the alarm, and open the door. He runs up from where he had been loitering out of sight and asks me if I'm opening the store for the night. Our hours are on the front of the door, the open sign was off, the lights are off, our sidewalk signage was sitting inside, I'd already informed him we were closed, and I'm very obviously in the process of leaving, so that somehow means that I'm getting ready for a night shift...

Irulethegalaxy

Not a question per se, but my shop has a photocopier. And I have had people yell at me because when they selected to make a color copy it didn't ADD color to their black and white original.

This has happened MULTIPLE times, as recently as yesterday.

TenebrisVenator

Galaxy, I'm in IT and Help Desk field. This doesn't surprise me at all. Back when floppy disks were still a thing, customers would thing "Mail me a copy of the disk" meant photocopy the disk and send that in

I've also gotten gems like "IDK what application I can't login to, that's why I'm calling you"

In response to me asking "OK, what's it not doing:" "Working, weren't you listening?" And then "Yes, i was listening, I was wondering what specifically isn't working?" followed by "MY PHONE, DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING?"

"What do you mean that's not covered under warranty. It's your fault that it vibrated off the edge" - This was a roofer who set his phone on vibrate on the edge of a roof he was fixing

"My program wasn't working, so I booted it to DOS, then typed "deltree program files" and now my computer won't boot and I'm getting all these errors, and it won't undelete anything" - This was in Windows 98

*After fixing a minor technical problem* "So tell me, have you found Jesus and accepted him as your personal savior"

"What do you mean is it plugged in? it's supposed to be wireless" This was when wireless routers were first becoming common

"I Put my phone in the Microwave to charge it, and know it's broken. When are you going to fix this, and I want compensation for my microwave, since my phone almost exploded and caught fire" As a result of the "Wave Charging" hoax

Kat621

If our drugstore sold desktop and laptop computers(Office Depot was 2 blocks away)

Samus

Where are your Mario games for Xbox/Playstation? Made my eye twitch every damn time.

SebbyFuqua

This was several years ago when I worked at a drug store beginning with the letter 'W'. While pulling product forward in the shaving aisle, a teenage boy came up to me and asked me, "Excuse me, but what size condom do I need?"

UsagiShira

Worked at a local Game store and had a guy call and ask for help with his system. After telling me the problem and asking a manager for help (to which they couldn't help him at all) I told the guy sorry but maybe he could find the answer on the internet. The guy then told me that his tv and computer were two separate rooms and he didn't want to keep running back and forth between the two.

Lightning

Thaliana, seriously? Wow...

Samus, argh! I had someone wonder that, too, but I honestly couldn't tell if they were joking or serious.

SebbyFuqua... urgh. That kid needs to get a condom large enough to fit over his head and suffocate. Or, you know, google information on that.

Usagi, hahaha!

Neverdie

When I worked at a popular fast food joint where the patties are square because they never cut corners, a guy drove through the drive through to ask, "Uhhh... Do ya'll sell hamburgers?"

MoneySvcsMaid

I kid you not, a customer called to ask what our phone number was.

KitKat

While standing in the open mall doors during a power outage and directing people away from the store. "Where are the mall doors?"

Me *thinking "Seriously?" *actually saying while pointing "They're that way."

Also, while at that same place of employment, where any number of stores were. Best part, there was an information kiosk right outside the mall doors along with a map. Though oftentimes, it was where the other anchor stores were (people had a tendency to get turned around).

1389

Me: Thank you for calling Office Depot. This is (my name). How may I help you?
Customer: Do you rent out power tools?
Me: Sir, this is Office Depot. I think you might want to call Home Depot.

TechTyger

"Thank you for calling AOhelL tech support, can I have your screen name please."
"I need to talk to tech support."
--
"No, ma'am, you can't bypass the securID security system when you lose your token by using 'override' for the password, no matter how many movies you see it in.

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