Funny Fakes: Translation: Theodore The Space Knight
Fast Food Funnies: McDonald's High Chair Gonna Get Ya

Bad Customer Service: Chunky Milk


BAD SERVICE 3From RetchingCaffinatedCurds

Went to a local place that America runs on for a cappuccino and a breakfast sandwich. Headed off to work happy I got a coffee and settled in for a Saturday shift.

The drink tasted a little funny. Suddenly, as I take another sip to try to figure out if they gave me a wrong order or something... a CHUNK hit my lip.

Trying to keep calm, I opened the top to investigate. It looked a little CHUNKY.

I proceeded to pour it out and found THREE INCHES of curdled milk at the bottom of my coffee! I mean this shit was the consistency of cottage cheese!

I called the store and I was told by the idiotic manager that, "Oh the employees didn't clean the machine for three days. (?!?!?!) and they're not working today because they can't follow process. Come on over and I'll give you anything you want."

Well that's fine, but you knew about the issue the second I called? Obviously it's been an issue you've been ignoring? And the bitch who poured my coffee obviously saw the chunky milk but proceeded to serve it to me anyway?! How about you clarify something: 'not working' as in 'sent home for the day' or 'not working' as in "we fired them for potentially poisoning half the metropolitan area"?

Oh but it's okay, I can have anything off the menu, which is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Do you seriously fucking think I'm going to trust ANYTHING in the building after that?! The phone is in my hand and I'm giving the remaining half of my sandwich the side eye in case it starts moving or giggling at me.

Then the 'only' thing they could offer me was a refund.

New Freddy 055Hey sunshine, how about the hours back I spent in the bathroom with a pot in my lap and my butt on the toilet?! Do you want the details of that? Because believe me, I'm making a call to some very important people about how you made me so sick that I literally could not keep anything inside me, not even my soul! These 'very important people' tend to take rather dim views of businesses that make people sick.

The stupid manager proceeded to make me another drink 'on the house' to make up for it... what the fuck are you thinking? You think I'm going to want to drink that?! Even if you scoured the place till it shone, the impression has already been made! (Not to mention after a whole night of unmentionable things, my stomach STILL roils at the smell of coffee.)

I declined the coffee.

I called Funkin's hotline to complain and, in the politest, most spineless oblique manner possible, they inquired as to, "What more do you expect? You got your refund."

I dunno. Maybe an actual apology? A promise to fire the employees and retrain the manager, if not fire him too? Maybe for you to take this seriously and go into 'Oh my god please don't sue us we're going to take care of this right away" mode?

I informed the Health Department immediately after hanging up with corporate. By the guy's tone on the other end of the phone, mine was definitely not the first call made about that place.





"What more do you expect? You got your refund."
An investigation by the health inspector, which *I* will be making an appointment for, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. And I'll make sure they'll appear at random.

"mine was definitely not the first call made about that place."
Why was this place not shut down already?

Misty Meanor

Why wasn't it shut down already? Because we know how well they act in situations like this...

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