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Old People Hell: It Doesn't Say What's In It!

RHU Monthly Themes: May 2017



April showers bring May flowers, or so they say. In the bowels of retail hell, we don't see very many flowers, and very few custys and crustys could be described as fresh and pretty as flowers when they come stomping through the front door of our chain stores with attitudes and crazy demands. 

As Spring nears closer to Summer, we've plucked a shudder worthy bouquet of festering Retail Hell for you to indulge upon.

Here's what's what will bloom in May on RHU:


NametagMistaken Identity

This story theme exploded our inbox last year, and so by popular vote, Mistaken Identity has returned to RHU. These are the stories where you're off the clock and that damn retail funk clings to you, drawing custys from all over to demand that you assist them. You can be in your own store, or you can be in another store completely. In your store's uniform, or in your grungiest civilian clothes, as long as you are mistaken for a retail slave by a fellow custy then send it in! We'll groan and facepalm right along with you!


BridezillaBridezillas And Wedding Hell

We have a new topic this month, and one that becomes more relevant as wedding season comes along. Brides have meltdowns and when they do lookout! If you work in wedding retail, at a shop or as a planner, a Bridezilla can be your worst customer nightmare come true. All month we will be reading at Brides on the verge.

Perhaps someone you know was a bridezilla.  Maybe you made a dress for one. Might you have been a bartender a wedding reception and got to witness a zilla meltdown? We'll even accept zilla stories from servers, musicians or venue workers.

And we're not picky about the kind of Zilla you got to meet either! Your story could be about bridezillas, wedding-coordinator-zillas or relative-zillas. All Zilla stories are encouraged. Spectacular meltdowns, destroyed events, radioactive fire breath and knock down, hair pulling fights are just waiting for their chance to spill forth to the pages of RHU!


Retail hell underground 025aToxic Coworkers

We've heard your tales of woe with managers, now it's time to turn our gaze to the left or right, rather than above. From Toxic managers, we take a left turn at the time clock and rest our gazes upon the second worst headache in our workplace. (Let's face it, customers suck, but they're temporary. Coworkers and managers are worse because we're stuck with them!)

Toxic coworkers are the sleazy, skeezy headache that we are forced to endure as we just try to do our jobs, only to trip over a steaming pile of bullcrap left in their wake. Toxic coworkers might be backstabbers, but they might also just be pure weaponized incompetence, wrapped in drug habits, triple dipped in stupid, with psycho sprinkles on top.

Send in the coworker stories that went beyond facepalming and straight into WTF territory.


Triforce[Geeky Weddings And Wedding Rings]

Paired with our zilla stories is a picture theme to give us some good old fashion nerdy fun. Nerds, geeks and dorks rejoice, we want to see your fan-based weddings and wedding rings. If you're that creative person who married your fellow fan and gave them their special ring or day based around Star Wars, Harry Potter, Pokemon or any other theme or TV/movie series, snap a photo and share it!

Did you plan a Doctor Who wedding? How about a custom designed Fire, Earth and Water ring set and tell your significant other to choose their Starter Type? Were your beverages marked Health Potion or Mana Potion? Share a photo of your Hogwarts wedding cake! 

Anything wedding related and fanbase related is welcome!




[Spring Store Windows]

We started Store Window Wonders theme last December because there were so many fun and interesting holiday store windows. As the snow and ice melt, spring's store windows have not disappointed, so we will be bringing them to you all month long, some windows are wonders, some are playful, some breathtaking, and others just downright bizarre. 







[Signage Slip-Ups]

Our final photo theme is all about signs and incredibly bad spelling, or missing letters.  Is it impossible to read or just make you want to whip out your red correction pen? Did they use a 5 instead of an S? L33T 5P33K? Unreadable font? Atrocious grammar? Snap a pic and send it in!


As always, send your stories and photos to:





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