(Editor's Note: ...and for our Mistaken Identity story of the month, cue up the Trololo Song y'all!)
Few years back, I'm working at Staples in their "Easy Tech" department, where I was told I'd be fixing computers but turned out I was stocking shelves. Yay for bait and switch.
Anyways, one day I'm on break and head on over to Hannaford for some grub. I'm heading towards the deli when I spot one of the deli workers telling a customer, "He'll show you where they are."
Customer walks over to me, "Sir, where are your onions?"
I tell him I don't work here, and apologize and go about my business. He walks away.
As soon as he's walking away, I hear : "Uhhh, EXCUSE ME? That is NOT acceptable behavior. Come with me RIGHT THIS INSTANT!"
I turn around and see it's a Hannaford manager. I try to tell her that I don't work here, but she won't let me finish. At this point, the troll in me says, "Do it, follow her, see how long it takes her to realize I don't actually work for Hannaford and she's a blithering idiot!"
So I follow her into the little office and she says "sit down" in a harsh tone.
I've got a GIANT smile on my face, so I sit down.
Her: "So, in your words, what should I tell the district manager how you will change your attitude?"
Me: "I'm not going to change anything about my attitude."
Her: "Well, then I have no choice but to write you up for insubordination!!!"
I'm still smiling the biggest smile I could. She....for some reason, hasn't picked up on the fact that I'm not one of her employees.
Her: "Do you have ANYTHING to say for yourself?"
Me: "Actually, I do. I have a question."
Her: "Go ahead."
Me: "Do you recognize me... AT ALL?"
Her: "You're the new guy."
Me: "Are you sure?"
Me: "Because I work at Staples, you fucking idiot. Read my shirt."
She did. She was speechless.
I laughed and told her to get her glasses checked, got up and left the store. I still shop at that Hannaford, but I have never seen her there ever again.
There was this lady that kept finding things in our store to buy after she checked out, the third time it was with me.
She had brought up one of those ties that comes in a box, but she had taken it out.
Her English was ok, she had a pretty strong accent though.
She said " I don't know how to put back" so after I scan the item I reach over to but the tie back in the box cause I know to do it, but before I can do so, she takes the tie folds it in half and lays it across my chest to simulate me wearing it.
She's mumbling something about how I'm about the same size of her dad and that her dad doesn't like big ties. She also kinda accidentally poked me in the boob. All the while I'm trying not to laugh, because it was really awkward for me, I'm also imagining this lady's dad, if he's really my size he's only about 5ft tall.
After a minute she says "Yes I want" I put the tie back in the box and finish checking her out.
As she's walking away I see her take the box out of the bag, and the tie out the box again and I was bit frustrated cause I had just put back in there all nice and neat.
So many of these comments don't have shit on the people I've worked with.
Sprint, the retail store in Tigard, Oregon:
I forget the guy's name, but he was a horribly racist dishonest bastard that would steal from customers, this was 8 years ago. He worked there for years, and was never fired, only shifted to another store across town. Here's some of his exploits:
Refused to help Spanish speaking customers, but if he had to:
If it was a bill pay, he would give them a receipt from the previous customer and pocket the money
He would add on additional lines of service, then give the phones away as burner phones.
To just about everyone else:
He would add on additional features on to their accounts without notifying them (text messaging, internet, ect) to get commission.
Lie through his teeth about everything, totally misrepresent the price people were going to pay on their bill.
Refuse to fix any of his problems and tell customers they have to go to customer service, "I'm only a salesmen, I can't do that."
When he left the store, the next manager instituted a policy whereas if we saw he touched an account we would just fix anything on the account, credit everything, no questions asked.
Regularly created difficult situations by directly insulting customers, he did this arbitrarily for kicks.
Refused to do things that he could do
Lied about services we preformed for the customer
Would refuse to help customers if they didn't speak English well.
Flirted with every girl that came in over the age of 14-25.
Then I transferred back to retail and started working with a Persian guy, I think he hated me because I was a veteran, but I don't know. This kid was a moron, a liar, and also regularly refused to help customers. I had to inspect some of his work, and when I found faults he would just continue to do whatever he was doing.
We actually got into shouting matches at work, and the manager refused to do anything. I had enough of him when he flicked a lit cigarette at me, I threatened to beat his ass and he ran inside.
The manager still refused. That manager, Elizabeth, probably still works there, and she was the single stupidest manager I've ever encountered. She got the "transfer don't fire" treatment from Sprint Corporate after some big screw up, and was placed as the store manager; everything went to shit because she had no backbone.