(Editor's Note: ...and for our Mistaken Identity story of the month, cue up the Trololo Song y'all!)
Few years back, I'm working at Staples in their "Easy Tech" department, where I was told I'd be fixing computers but turned out I was stocking shelves. Yay for bait and switch.
Anyways, one day I'm on break and head on over to Hannaford for some grub. I'm heading towards the deli when I spot one of the deli workers telling a customer, "He'll show you where they are."
Customer walks over to me, "Sir, where are your onions?"
I tell him I don't work here, and apologize and go about my business. He walks away.
As soon as he's walking away, I hear : "Uhhh, EXCUSE ME? That is NOT acceptable behavior. Come with me RIGHT THIS INSTANT!"
I turn around and see it's a Hannaford manager. I try to tell her that I don't work here, but she won't let me finish. At this point, the troll in me says, "Do it, follow her, see how long it takes her to realize I don't actually work for Hannaford and she's a blithering idiot!"
So I follow her into the little office and she says "sit down" in a harsh tone.
I've got a GIANT smile on my face, so I sit down.
Her: "So, in your words, what should I tell the district manager how you will change your attitude?"
Me: "I'm not going to change anything about my attitude."
Her: "Well, then I have no choice but to write you up for insubordination!!!"
I'm still smiling the biggest smile I could. She....for some reason, hasn't picked up on the fact that I'm not one of her employees.
Her: "Do you have ANYTHING to say for yourself?"
Me: "Actually, I do. I have a question."
Her: "Go ahead."
Me: "Do you recognize me... AT ALL?"
Her: "You're the new guy."
Me: "Are you sure?"
Me: "Because I work at Staples, you fucking idiot. Read my shirt."
She did. She was speechless.
I laughed and told her to get her glasses checked, got up and left the store. I still shop at that Hannaford, but I have never seen her there ever again.