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Mistaken Identity: "Take My Child Into A Dark Enclosed Room, Alone, Please!"


Mistaken Identity 4 JasonFrom Sandman2010


Long time lurker/commentor, first time poster.

This one is still makes my family and friends shake their heads in collective worry for the safety of this woman's children. A quick backstory, my friends and I have formed a costume charity group that helps out out groups like Make-A-Wish, March of Dimes, and smaller, local charities. We come in our various superhero costumes, entertain the children present, and get a lot of pictures taken of us. It gets us out on the weekends, and lets us give back to our community in our own little way.

For this event, we are at our local zoo. The March of Dimes branch for the city sets it up, and all of the pre-schools in the county come and see the animals, and surprise, superheroes! We spend a few hours just walking around the exhibits, talking to parents and children, and get a lot of pictures taken. My friends are dressed as Batman and Superman, and this trip I am wearing my Spider-Man costume. This becomes important in a minute.

At this point in the event we find ourselves in front of the reptile and spider exhibit. Unlike the rest of the animal enclosures this one is inside a building, kept dark so the lighted, simulated environments make it easy to see the various spiders, insects and reptiles in the exhibit. It also makes it a little creepy for the smaller children and some adults, so it has a lot of people just passing it by.

While we are posing for pictures with a group of very, very small children and answering their questions, I feel a tug on my shoulder. A thirty-something mother in holding onto her four-year-old son, and glancing back at the spider exhibit as she is speaking to me. She will be known as SL or Spider-Lady from here on.

SL: "Excuse me, Spider-Man? I have a question."

Me: "Yes, ma'am?"

SL: "My son wants to go into the spider enclosure."

Me: "Well, the doors right there. And then you just walk to the left. It's a great exhibit, I'm a big fan!"

SL: "Well, I'm scared of spiders. Is there anyway you could take him in there and show him all of the different spiders?"

DumbasscustysI look down at the boy, who couldn't have been older than four. He's wearing Spider-Man EVERYTHING: Shoes, hat, shirt all decked out in our favorite Webhead. In my costume I was this kids idol. I honestly think he would have gone along with anything I'd ask him to.

Me: "Um... ma'am. Let me get this straight. You want me, a guy you don't know from Adam, to take your child into a dark enclosed room? You know I can get in and out of this suit in less than ten seconds, right?"

She was nodding along, right until that end part. The realization of what I just said finally sets in.

SL: "But you have to take him in there! I'm scared and you're a zoo employee!"

Me: "No ma'am, I'm not. We're volunteers. We don't work for the zoo. I don't think the zoo employees even know what we look like."

I've never seen someone go red-faced and move so fast. The poor kid was so confused, probably wondering what I had done to make his mom want to leave so fast.





Eeee y'all posted my story!

Misty Meanor

I'd never go anywhere near a reptile house! I hate snakes!

Tech Support Survivor

I'd be all for the reptile house. It's the creepy crawlies you couldn't get me near.


I'll look at all the creepy crawlies and snappy, bitey buggers but keep me away from the sandpaper exhibition.


Hey Sandman, your story didn't come with your nickname attached so I had made it anonymous. I've corrected it now. :)


Not a problem Ilia! Thanks for posting it!

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