Awkward Acronyms: The People Here Aren't All That Nice
Discount Rat Hell: Should have quit while you were ahead

Sexism In The Workplace: Gender Discrimination And A Wrongful Write Up


Sexism 2From RedHeadedBug, TalesFromRetail

I very rarely get complaints on me and it has been more than two years since someone was so unsatisfied with my help that they actually called corporate on me but that all changed last week.

I had been going around the dog food section of the store facing the cans and smaller bags when an older man, maybe in his 60's, walked up and asked if he could get someone to help him get a 30lb bag of dog food up to the front. He did not have a cart with him so I told him that I would be happy to help.

I grabbed his chosen bag and walked up to the front with him. Nothing really seemed amiss. I made small talk, asked about what kind of dog he had, chatted about the weather (because anything below 70 in Florida is worth talking about). I helped him out to his car, thanked him for his patronage to our store and went about my day. All seemed well.

Yesterday, however, I get called into the office where my GM is waiting to speak to me. She tells me we have a huge complaint on me and that it has gone up to our DM and that I am to receive a write-up as per his orders.

Apparently I was expected to have gone and gotten one of our male associates to help this guy. I "insulted and humiliated" this customer by grabbing the bag myself. He said in his complaint that it was totally unacceptable for a "little girl" to lift those bags and that I was obviously trying to make him look like a weak old man in front of other customers.

I was so mad about this because I got the write up (which I refused to sign because all I was doing was my job) and had to have a "counseling session" with our GM and ASM about how to properly respect our customers.

When I was hired I had to prove that I could lift and carry 50lbs if I wanted to work on the floor for this exact reason. Floor associates have to be able to help customers with bags and boxes that they would not be able to lift themselves.

I was never once rude to this man, never once mentioned anything about how he needed help with the bag. I did my utmost to provide the best customer service to him and followed the store's stupid ass "GUEST+" model of customer service. I did everything right and I was still getting in trouble over it. And my GM and ASM never once said that it was a shit complaint. They just kept going over and over how I need to be more aware of customer sensitivities and how it really is reasonable that an older man would not want lifting help from a 5 foot tall "little girl".

Carolanne bookSo sorry, sir, that I did my damned job and even helped you out to your car.

I then made a call to my HR department. The moment the phrase "gender discrimination" and "sexism" came into the conversation I was transferred to a "supervisor". They seemed very sympathetic and more than a little bit worried about legal trouble over this. I have gotten a copy of the write up that I now have at home.

Today, or I suppose yesterday as it is well past midnight now, I got a call back into the office to speak with our DM on the phone.

What had apparently happened, and was misinterpreted by my GM, was that the complaint was forwarded to him and he just forwarded it to our store. He had never actually read what the complaint was outside of "customer was humiliated and insulted" so he wanted immediate action taken. Still really shitty response but it is what it is.

He apologized to me profusely for several minutes before telling me that the write-up was to be rescinded and that no disciplinary action would be on my employment file for this. I have to say I am still feeling all warm and fuzzy several hours after listening to him eat crow over this. He is normally such a jerk. It was lovely.

I did make a point to tell the DM that my managers shouldn't be punished for following his direction. This was me unashamedly covering of my own ass. I need this job and I won't have them thinking I was trying to get them in trouble despite the fact that if it hadn't been handled the way it was, I would have done my best to crucify them. I will fully recognize and acknowledge that it was an act to mollify my managers.

My ASM and GM have both apologized to me as well. HR must have jumped right on this because I really wasn't expecting to hear anything about it for a few weeks yet. I did tell them that I understood their need to write me up after a direct e-mail from the DM but that I was hurt that I was chastised for going my job.

JUSTICE SERVED 2ASM told me that she understood how I felt and that she would feel the same way, though the GM didn't seem to have much to say about it at all outside of being sorry that all this happened. I still think they should have told me it was a shit complaint when they talked to me the first time but it has happened so I'm letting it go.

I will give my own apology to those who likely wanted me to fight this harder than I did and for leaving it at this. I got the outcome I really wanted. An admission of wrongdoing and an apology. I have a two year old who is growing faster than I can keep clothes on her and I need to be able to support her. As much as I hate my company, I need this job and I really can't afford to piss off the people who make my schedule.

They have back tracked so quickly and I am feeling some serious righteous vindication. This had actually turned out so much better than I thought it would. Thank you again to all of you.




I think you handled it perfectly. You identified who the problem was, and through the company's own system, put them in a position where their only option was to admit they were wrong and apologize. Your managers might be a little weak willed, but that's probably because they spine has been beaten down by the DM, who is a lazy ass. Corporate HR, however, seems relatively competent. It might have been enlightened self interest, but they did what you wanted.

The DM might have even learned to pay more attention when your name comes up in the future. Just don't give him any genuine issues to bust your balls over, because he won't forget.

Misty Meanor

I'm glad you took this to the higher ups!


You did great- but I'd like that customer's ass whipped!
What an asshole!


The customer should have said he wanted a male to carry the food for him and spare the company a complaint when the situation was his fault entirely!


Guess who had a fragile little ego and was bitter about getting old and feeble? People need to chill out.

Yeah, I'm a big beefy guy and stronger than a lot of women, sure. Doesn't mean I'm dumb enough to step into the ring with a female MMA champion or race against a woman who's a competitive cyclist and think I have a chance. It certainly doesn't make me 'better' in any way than anyone, just different.

There's always someone faster, stronger, smarter or just more determined than you. Once you realise that and accept it, you're on the path to peace.


Well said Sgt, and for the OP, no apology is necessary, you handled it perfectly. I'll also say we all know what it's like to sometimes have to put up with shit we normally wouldn't be willing to because we can't afford to get fired or lose our hours. I'm really glad this turned out so well, and your company has a pretty decent HR dept. As for the guy, imagine how terrible it must be to have such a fragile ego and such low self esteem that getting help from a female employee is a source of shame. Best revenge I can think of: He has to live with himself the rest of his life

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