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Grocery Store Hell: Is the 'fresh salmon' "fresh"?



From Tritefull, Tales From Retail:

So, I work at a grocery store in an upper-class area of town. Sometimes I'm a clerk, but I also work extensively in the fisheries section of our dear shop. The other day a gentleman approached the counter and I was the only one working.

"Is the salmon fresh?" he asked. I replied that it was. Perplexity consumed his face. "Surely it can't be, it had to come on a truck didn't it?" "Yes, but it was caught this morning!" "But it isn't salmon season." At this point the shell-shock kicked in and I thought to myself 'like what in the hell does he want?' "No, it isn't salmon season but it was caught this morning from the salmon farm down the road see." "OH!" he puffed, "well it isn't friggen fresh is it then!?" Then I lost my temper. "Well, sorry but we haven't a lake out back where we haul the closest, pinkest actinopterygian that swims at me!" He turnt red and trotted away with the salmon in his hand.

I realise that I probably shouldn't have reacted like that, but this actually has a happy ending. The next day, when my manager was in, he called me laughing and told me I made his day because apparently the chap was a real pain up the backside.

You really learn how to sense all the different types of neurosis when you're a university student working part time at the grocers.






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