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Server Hell: Fragile Masculinity


This is actually a special flavour of homophobia and/or sexism. Where appearing weak, effeminate or gay is intolerable enough to go to great lengths to avoid the association. Folks, teach your sons (in particular, but all children) than there is nothing, "less than," about being a woman, or gay, or appearing feminine.


--Vellum and Vinyl




Couldn't it be that men are more comfortable at a larger table? I know my husband and I usually sit at a 4 top when it's available, because we are just more comfortable.


"Two bros chillin' at a restaurant, five feet apart 'cause they're not gay"

I prefer larger tables because tigers tend to be a little crowded in the two seaters, but if the place is busy I'm not going to be pushy about getting a bigger table than I 'deserve'... Although I'd want more service at that point, removing plates and glasses there isn't room for.


Guys ask for the larger tables, because otherwise it's like being seated in economy class in a plane. Reminds me of tight seating and each of my adult siblings having certain spots to take, because of lefty righty elbow hits with cutlery flying to the floor. We don't remember who's which anymore and play musical chairs to get it right.


Let's be honest here. Who the hell cares if they're choosing a bigger table due to a desire not to appear gay? I'd only be upset if some other customer was being inconvenienced.

I'd be fascinated to see that lesson though. "Remember, Timmy! There's nothing wrong with two men being physically close to each other! Be sure to remember that!"

"But mommy! Why should it matter if I don't want to sit so close to someone else?"

"Well someone might think you're homophobic, Timmy! And we wouldn't want that because, as we all know, the perceptions of others are more important than you feeling comfortable!"

This homophobia (and I laugh as I call it that) hurts absolutely nobody.

Personally, I absolutely hate being in close quarters with anyone and would absolutely ask for a larger table if one were available. Such a shame. I guess people will think I'm homophobic.


I was quoting a silly vine video. I think it's more the tiny-table thing, myself.


I do this with the seating. It's a comfort thing, not a gay thing. I can't stand being cramped, it actually triggers my anxiety. I'm not about to go out to a restaurant or bar, and spend my hard earned money just to be uncomfortable and miserable. The glass thing is absolutely ridiculous, though. A former co-worker of mine would do that at the bar "I'd like a Long Island Iced Tea, but put that in a regular glass, not a girly one" would be his instructions when ordering anything that he was afraid wasn't "manly" enough.

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