Sidewalk Signage Teases Customers
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Crazy Customers: First Name: David, Address: The Streets


02 crazy peopleFrom desireeray, TalesFromRetail

Back story: I've worked at a few different retail stores aside from a music retail location, one being a cell phone company. The cell phone company I worked for happened to be in a shopping center across from the music store I worked at later in life. --This pertains to the story-- We were a very small store that hardly had any traffic, consequently we would get bored and just kind of stare out into the shopping center. Gigantic windows at the front of our shop made this easy.

We were bored, like super super bored. We noticed a ring of homeless people who rotated begging with a sign in our shopping center parking lot. We gave them names, and used to watch them. 

Any who - David. (I've decided my male characters in these stories are all going to be called David.) This is where I first encountered David. When I worked for a cell phone company, our name for him was Carl. I have no idea how we came up with these names, I honestly would just come into work and someone would be like, hey check out Carl, he's got a new sign. So my first encounter with Carl outside of watching him from a cell phone store was exciting to say the least.

David was in his mid 50's, he wore huge glasses, had thin wiry grey hair, very pronounced facial features, and always wore a gigantic pair of headphones alongside his puffy windbreaker. Not just any headphones, but frickin sweet headphones. At the time I first met him he was replacing his current pair of expensive Pioneer DJ headphones with another. David treasured headphones --literally-- above everything else touching his body. When I first encountered David, I was standing idly at the counter watching my coworker help a gentleman at the headphone display.

Before I knew it, BAM! The gentleman turns out to be Carl! Holy shit! Carl! I hadn't worked at the cell phone company in a couple of years, it was weird moment for me to even remember Carl -- and -- it was about to get way weirder.

So, my coworker is doing his spiel, "would you like insurance?" "Do you need accessories for this," blah blah blah. Then the moment I had been waiting for, without knowing I was waiting for it, "OK, so what's your name, so I can go ahead and create you an account here."


"Ok, and can I get your last name"

Jason Rawr"You don't need my god damn last name! I don't have to give that to no one!"

"OK, sorry my system prompts me for these questions, it's so we can better assist you in the future, what's your address?"

"I don't have an address you god damn puppet! THE STREETS."

This is how we came to know David from the Streets. His name in our system was literally "Name: David, Address: The Streets."

So David had literally bought a pair of the nicest headphones we had. He paid all in $1's and $5's for a pair of headphones well over $200.00. After he left my co-worker and I exchanged stories of seeing David around the shopping center. We laughed, shrugged it off, and went on.

The next day David comes in to exchange these headphones. He is complaining to me that one side isn't working. I exchange them out no questions asked. Then about two hours later I'm confronted by my angry operations manager.

I had returned these headphones without testing them. Turns out they worked just fine, and David had issues.

The next day David is back to exchange out his headphones again. I test them, which is disgusting mind you. David was definitely a transient of some sort, so these headphones smelled of musty burned up cigarettes. The headphones are fine. I haggle with David, pull a manager, and the verdict is to swap out the headphones.

The NEXT day. David is back. I'm pissed. Why is David back in my shop seriously returning these stupid headphones again?

Freddy crosseyedHe avoids me and grabs another coworker innocent to this situation.

I literally run to the register, and try to fight it. Alas, this idiot coworker of mine just exchanges these headphones like it's no big. Luckily he remarks the receipt in all caps, no returns on headphones.

This shit means we literally have three open box headphones reeking like cigarettes just hanging out in our clearance section. (We sanitized them first and sold them as "Used.")

The next day David from The Streets is back. I have literally prepared everyone on shift, that we're not returning these headphones, victory is mine.

OH NO. David is pissed. He is screaming, kicks the register, says a racial slur towards my manager and storms out of my work with the headphones.

He tries to shove them in the garbage can out of anger and can't fit them through the hole. He RIPS the top of the trash can off, throws it as far as he can, and just straight up throws these headphones in the trash can, and starts pounding them in. For like a good 30-45 seconds, the most awkward time ever.

David tried this headphone crap every other month. I have no idea what his thought process was behind it.




Misty Meanor

Sounds like he's got some kind of mental issue.

Tech Support Survivor

Definitely has mental issues. Sadly mental illness is a rather common factor among the homeless.


A large portion of the homeless are homeless due to severe mental illness and being denied proper medical coverage to get any kind of help. A number of those people are vets or ex military who are suffering from mental illness because of the things they saw while serving


I have to wonder if he's deaf in the ear that "doesn't work" and doesn't know it because of a lack of basic health care. I feel bad for David, but I feel bad for the store workers as well... :(

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