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Monstrous Customers: "Your Employee Bit My Son!"


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My boyfriend (BF) and I have worked in haunted houses for over 20 years combined, and one day we were reminiscing about various problem people we've had to deal with.

One story he told me involved a haunt we worked at together, that was in a somewhat nicer neighborhood where people liked to believe they were ritzier than they really were. This particular year, he was the Actor Manager, which basically meant he was in charge of overseeing much of what went on.

It's a pretty busy night so he's outside overseeing the queue with one of the good security guards (SG), making sure everyone knows the rules before entering and getting in some of his own scares.

He notices a woman sort of hanging off to the side near the exit door with her son, who looks to be about 8 or 9. BF notices the woman lean down and whisper to her son, point to a spot on his arm, and then demonstrated how to make a hickey on her own arm. BF nudges SG and they both watch the situation unfold, then watch as she goes in to the ticket counter where one of the owners is working.

As expected, the woman starts raising hell at the counter to Owner, telling her, "We just came through your haunt, and one of the actors grabbed my son and bit him!"

Owner is understandably freaked out. She doesn't do well with confrontation and our haunt is strictly no touch, and we'd been drilling it into actors heads after an incident involving a prop the weekend before. BF and SG step up to the counter and have the following exchange:

BF: "What seems to be the problem, ma'am?"

Woman: "We just came through your haunt, and one of your actors bit my son! You can see here they left a mark!"

SG: "What did the actor look like?"

Woman: "Well it was a blonde girl"

BF: "Okay, we have about 12 actors that fit that description. Can you narrow it down some more? What was she wearing? Which house was it in?" (We had 3 different houses, each with a vastly different theme, different decorations, makeup type, etc.)

Jason bored 2Woman: "I'm not sure. It was near the end, and it was dark. My son was injured by your staff, you need to compensate us! We want a refund!"

BF: "Well, ma'am, that's not going to happen. I know for a fact none of our actors bit your son."

Woman: "I will take you to court! It's your word against mine!"

BF: "Actually ma'am, it's your word against mine, the security guard, and the uniformed police officer over there. We all saw you showing your son how to make a mark on his own arm. Now leave... before we have the officer escort you out."

(BF was the Actor Manager, which basically meant he was second in command to the owners and thus had the authority to ban her. The security guard was licensed and had the authority as well. Basically she tried to pull this off right in front of the two worst people to do so in front of.)

She tried to argue a bit more, very half-heartedly, but when it became clear she wasn't getting anything she left. Still claimed she was going to sue us, but of course we heard nothing from her after that.

You guys, I have so many of these stories it isn't even funny. People seem to think that because we're "entertainment" and seasonal, they can scam us, steal our stuff, threaten us, or harass and attack us (sexually and otherwise), and get away with it. 





Of course people think that when they go to haunted houses, because they think they can do that wherever they go. Sadly it has become a rewarding way to be, as we have all witnessed. Love hearing a story when a scam backfires.


I seem to recall a Not Always Right where every year, a guy would come into the haunted house and claim the employees hit him. He’d sue them, go to court, and lose. He did this five years in a row, and on the fifth year, they installed cameras. They caught him trying to goad one of the cast members into punching him, and, when that didn’t work, punched himself in the face.

They used the footage to counter sue the pants off of him for filing false charges on them, and they never heard from the con artist again.

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