Coworker Hell: The Eating Thief
I had one coworker who would steal food from everybody. Oh, and we worked at a childcare facility. So when I say "stole food from everybody," I mean yes, everybody.
She raided children's lunchboxes while they were in the coat/backpack room. She raided employees lunches in our separate fridge. She went into the refer with snacks and raided those. She'd go through five or more juice boxes to satisfy her thirst. That kind of thing.
We jumped on her ass. We told her to knock that crap off. We complained up upper managment. Management gave her a limp handed finger waving.
Then one day we made crafts with the kids, making kid safe plaster; flour, salt and water. Everybody made their fun little thing and we baked them to dry them.
Yep. You guessed it, the coworker was spotted later with several of the kids' projects in hand, munching away on them like they were cookies. (WTF there was nothing in them to make them all that palatable.)
Well one of the kids spots HIS project in the coworker's hot little hand, and screamed bloody murder when my coworker bit right into it. There was a lot of chaos then; screaming and crying children, adults trying to figure out what was wrong, and our guilty coworker sitting there with a bitten project in hand and a stack of them by her side.
She had already eaten several of them by the time she was discovered, and the poor kids who had made them were pretty much inconsolable.
Management was finally forced to fire her, as mommies and daddies had quite a few words to say about their children coming home crying with a laundry list of things that had gone missing from their lunches and the culprit now caught red handed.
--RHUer
I’m surprised nobody laced their lunch with Ex-Lax or chili peppers to get back at her.
Posted by: Gothchickfla | Thursday, December 21, 2017 at 10:09 AM
I would've definitely done that.
Posted by: Misty Meanor | Thursday, December 21, 2017 at 11:02 AM
I'd have been more inclined to find something that left an indelible stain, preferably in a bright, neon color. Something that would remind everyone of just who the thief was for several weeks.
(Less likely to get you in trouble, too, as a heavy dose of Ex-Lax can be medically dangerous.)
Posted by: plus.google.com/108073606865059711666 | Thursday, December 21, 2017 at 11:11 AM
She at salt dough?! As a preschool teacher, I once tried that, out of morbid curiosity.
If she could eat salt dough, it would not matter what you did you regular food (exlax, hot peppers, etc)- she is clearly not human.
Posted by: janitorgirl | Thursday, December 21, 2017 at 11:32 AM
I kind of wonder if she had a bad case of pica. Not that it excuses anything!
Posted by: Kai Lowell | Thursday, December 21, 2017 at 12:09 PM
I had a classmate with Pica during the very early grade school. He was eating stones, dirt, twigs during recess. This lady on the other hand could have that problem where they are always hungry. The one where parents have to put locks on all sources of food. She goes beyond just stealing food from lunches. Had they painted the projects yet?
Posted by: Jofur | Thursday, December 21, 2017 at 05:29 PM
I wonder if she has Prader-Willi because that disease gives victims insatiable appetites. Kai and Jofur, did you both know that eating ice cubes is pica? I think that's kind of weird because drinking water isn't pica. I feel bad for the poor day care kids who went hungry because this jerk ate their food. I hope the screaming boy scared her half to death when she ate his project!
Posted by: BH | Thursday, December 21, 2017 at 08:05 PM
I ddi know that! (I've had the tendency to chew on ice cubes myself, but had to stop when dental work made my teeth too sensitive for that. I just like the CRONCH.) I've also heard it means you have an insatiable sexual appetite, but I don't really believe that one.
Posted by: Kai Lowell | Friday, December 22, 2017 at 11:43 AM
I didn't know that about ice cube eating! I notice in movies pics is made fun of (I.e., in "Bruce Almighty" Bruce's day care charge ate paste and glitter. Grace who was played by Jennifer Aniston said she was afraid the boy would poop an ornament one day! Pics can be life threatening if the victims eat sharp things or poison.
Posted by: BH | Friday, December 22, 2017 at 01:20 PM
I meant Grace's day care charge.
Posted by: BH | Friday, December 22, 2017 at 01:21 PM
It's not a very well known thing I think. I only really know about it because I read a ton and tend to get lost on Wikipedia quite easily. :P
Posted by: Kai Lowell | Friday, December 22, 2017 at 02:46 PM
Wikipedia is clicksand only outdone by TVTropes. :P
It's pica in a technical sense, in the same way that eating a carrot is murder. It's extremely common, though, to the point where ice machine makers will advertise chewable ice. (Seems to be packed flakes of ice that crunch but aren't hard enough to damage teeth) I actually talked the management at my last job into getting a water and chewable ice water dispenser...
Posted by: TechTyger | Sunday, December 24, 2017 at 06:26 PM