I had a woman once threaten to go on Facebook, Consumerist, and a host of other media outlets because we wouldn’t take her return.
The punchline? We were going out of business; hence no returns. Period.
We laughed, told her to go right ahead- that on the very off chance people listened to her story and rated it over their need to get deep discounts, then we could all keep our jobs that much longer.
Oh and why don’t you call corporate while you’re at it?
Oh wait- there is no corporate! Have a nice day!
We were under no obligation to be nice about it either; we said everything. Every. Thing. With the biggest grins ever on our faces.